When he alighted from the dog-cart he knew it was useless to try and
sleep; so he lit a cigar, and sat in a remote corner of the veranda.
Then he began seriously to analyze her words. They were to meet in
clandestine fashion; not actually in the garments of disguise, but at a
rendezvous so remote from the frequenters of the Casino as to run small
risk of being identified. She would drive thither in a "hired carriage,"
and he was to leave his dog-cart and groom at home. Moreover, she
inferred that he would not see her until the evening, since the locality
of this _diner à deux_ was to be written; though they had hardly been
separated by longer intervals than a couple of hours between seven
o'clock in the morning and nearly midnight during each day of a
fortnight. What did it all portend? Was this to be their last meeting?
At that thought a fierce pain gripped him, and he was sorely tempted to
call the gods to witness that he would not return to a lifetime of
wandering in the wilderness. Yet, said a still, small voice within, was
it not better so? She was another man's wife. He must remember that,
remember it even when his pent-up passions stormed the citadel of his
conscience, remember it when the sheer fragrance of her maddened his
senses, remember it when the taste of Dead Sea fruit was bitterest in
his mouth. Of what worth was he if, for her dear sake, he was not strong
in knightly resolve? And how could he ever again dare to receive his
mother's kiss if he betrayed the trust which she, at least, reposed in
him?
A mournful and depressing reverie was disturbed by the arrival of a
carriage at the porch. Four young people alighted--two honeymoon couples
they were supposed to be--and their lively voices seemed to ring the
knell of his wrecked existence. He listened, only half hearing, while
they chattered like magpies.
They had been to a dance at the Casino, and their broken comments told
of a jolly evening, a capital band, the best floor that ever was laid,
some wonderful dresses, and an unexcelled supper. Similar young people
were telling each other exactly the same inane commonplaces all over the
eastern part of America at that hour, and similar cackle would girdle
the earth till the crack of doom. Probably the men were wise as he, and
the women might be deemed by their swains pretty as Nancy; yet some
malign despot among the powers which control poor humanity had decreed
that he alone should never know these frivolous moments, never be
granted these breathing-spaces of mild abandonment. And so, wroth with
himself, and vexed with the sorry scheme of things, he went to his
rooms.
Next morning, to make sure, he rode to Nancy's house. No; Mrs. Marten
had not ordered her horse; in fact, she had not appeared as yet, and the
pleasant-spoken butler, showing the requisite confidence in the
discretion of a recognized friend, added that his mistress would not be
"at home" to anyone before luncheon.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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