"In a hansom, in Piccadilly Circus."
He winced. "Don't, George," he begged me.
"And you weren't alone."
"George--I say, George--you see how I'm trying to keep steady. Must you
throw me all over the shop again like this?"
But somehow I was no longer afraid of him. It seemed to me that it might
be no ill thing to anger him. Anger was at least a more human feeling
than those hideous speculations of his.
"What have you been doing since you left Cambridge Circus?" I demanded.
My plan looked like working. He confronted me.
"And what's that got to do with you?" he said.
"I think I could tell you what you've been doing. Naturally I shan't."
He looked coldly down on me. "No," he said slowly, "I don't think I
would if I were you.... And if you've seen me, I've seen you too," he
added menacingly.
"Before to-night?"
"Yes, before to-night."
"Where was that?"
There was contempt in his tone. "Oh, nowhere discreditable. You're too
magnificently steady for that."
I cannot tell you why we were standing together in one corner of the
room, body to body, with all the rest of the room empty. I only know
that I was not afraid of him, and that my intention to provoke him was
now fixed. Quite apart from those inhuman figures and graphs, this book
that he was contemplating approached--I will risk saying it--the
impious.
"Well, where was it?" I asked again.
His eyes were unwinkingly on mine. "You were coming out of my place, if
you must know. And I imagine my place is still mine. Since we're
friends, I haven't asked you what you were doing there."
"Then I'll tell you without asking. I've been staying there, on the
chance of your coming back for something you'd forgotten. I've got your
key in my pocket now, and I'm going back there to-night."
He muttered, his eyes now removed from mine. "Damned good guess. I did
come back. But I saw you across the road and turned away again."
"What did you come back for?"
"That Gland book. But I got a copy somewhere else."
"I hope you found it useful."
Then, all in a moment, the thing for which I was longing happened. He
broke down completely. Instead of a man trying to maintain an insane
tight-rope-balance on an indeterminable moment of time, there pitched
against me, crushing me against the wall and bringing down a shower of
Trenchard's photographs, a man who could be met on common ground of
normal experience. His arms were folded over his face. I heard his groan
within them.
"Lord have mercy upon me!... I oughtn't to have talked--I oughtn't to
have talked ... all unsettled again ... but I _can't_ let sixteen go ...
perhaps it won't let me go...."
"For heaven's sake forget that nightmare!"
But he mumbled despairingly on. "Shall have to be thirty ... no way out
of it ... why did I let myself talk!... Give us a hand, there's a good
fellow----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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