[Illustration: "I KNOCK OFF QUITE A NUMBER OF THESE WHILE I'M ABROAD LIKE THIS."] CULCH. (_carefully looking in every other direction_). I--er--mumble--mumble--don't exactly---- [_Here a Waiter offers him a dish containing layers of soles disguised under brown sauce_; CULCHARD _mangles it with an ineffectual spoon. The Waiter, with pitying contempt_, "_Tut-tut-tut! Pesce, Signore--feesh!_" CULCH. _eventually lands a sole in a very damaged condition_. PODB. (_to_ MISS P.). No--not this side--just opposite. (_Here_ CULCH., _in fingering a siphon which is remarkably stiff on the trigger, contrives to send a spray across the table and sprinkle_ MISS PRENDERGAST, _her brother, and_ PODBURY, _with impartial liberality_). _Now_ don't you see him? As playful as ever, isn't he! Don't try to make out it was an accident, old fellow. Miss Prendergast knows you! [_Misery of_ CULCHARD. MISS P. (_graciously_). Pray don't apologize, Mr. Culchard; not the least harm done! You must forgive me for not recognizing you before, but you know of old how provokingly short-sighted I am, and I've forgotten my glasses. CULCH. (_indistinctly_). I--er--not at all ... most distressed, I assure you ... really no notion---- MISS T. (_in an undertone_). Say, you _know_ her, then? And you never let on! CULCH. Didn't I? Oh, surely! yes, I've--er--_met_ that lady. (_With grateful deference to_ MR. BELLERBY, _who has just addressed him._) You are an Art-Collector? Indeed? And--er--have you--er--? MR. B. I've the three finest Bodgers in the kingdom, Sir, and there's a Gubbins--a _Joe_ Gubbins, mind you, not _John_--that's hanging now in the morning-room of my place in the country that I wouldn't take a thousand pounds for! I go about using my eyes, and pick 'em up cheap. Cheapest picture _I_ ever bought was a Prout--thirty-two by twenty; got it for two pound ten! Unfinished, of course, but it only wanted the colour being brought up to the edge. _I_ did that. Took me half a day, and _now_--well, any dealer would give me hundreds for it! But I shall leave it to the nation, out of respect for Prout's memory. BOB PR. (_to_ PODBURY). Yes, came over by the St. Gothard. Who is that girl who was talking to Culchard just now? Do you know her? I say, I wish you'd introduce me some time. MISS T. (_to_ CULCHARD). You don't seem vurry bright this evening. I'd like you to converse with your friend opposite, so I could get a chance to chip in. I'm ever so interested in that girl! CULCH. Presently--presently, if I have an opportunity. (_Hastily to_ MR. B.) I gather that you paint yourself, Sir?