In times of excitement he was apt to forget this fact for the instant
and give his wife her maiden name, as if all that was sharp in her
belonged to that prenuptial period. But this storm relieved the
atmosphere of its tension. Mrs. Hodges felt better for having spoken her
mind, and Mr. Hodges for having answered, while the young man was
relieved by the championship of his elder, and so the storm blew over.
It was several days before Brent saw Elizabeth again; but, thanks to
favouring winds, the sky had also cleared in that direction.
It was through such petty calms and storms that Fred passed the days and
weeks of his first year at the seminary. Some of them were small
annoyances, to be sure, but he felt them deeply, and the sting of them
rankled. It is not to be supposed, because there was no specific
outburst, that he was entirely at rest. Vesuvius had slumbered long
before Pompeii's direful day. His mind was often in revolt, but he kept
it to himself or confided it to only one friend. This friend was a
fellow-student at the seminary, a man older than Fred by some years. He
had first begun a literary career, but had renounced it for the
ministry. Even to him Fred would not commit himself until, near the end
of the year, Taylor declared his intention of now renouncing the study
of theology for his old pursuits. Then Brent's longing to be free
likewise drew his story from his lips.
Taylor listened to him with the air of one who had been through it all
and could sympathise. Then he surprised his friend by saying, "Don't be
a fool, Brent. It 's all very nice and easy to talk about striking out
for one's self, and all that. I 've been through it all myself. My
advice to you is, stay here, go through the academic discipline, and be
a parson. Get into a rut if you will, for some ruts are safe. When we
are buried deep, they keep us from toppling over. This may be a sort of
weak philosophy I am trying to teach you, but it is the happiest. If I
can save any man from self-delusion, I want to do it. I 'll tell you
why. When I was at school some fool put it into my head that I could
write. I hardly know how it came about. I began scribbling of my own
accord and for my own amusement. Sometimes I showed the things to my
friend, who was a fool: he bade me keep on, saying that I had talent. I
did n't believe it at first. But when a fellow keeps dinging at another
with one remark, after a while he grows to believe it, especially when
it is pleasant. It is vastly easy to believe what we want to believe. So
I came to think that I could write, and my soul was fired with the
ambition to make a name for myself in literature. When I should have
been turning Virgil into English for class-room, I was turning out more
or less deformed verse of my own, or rapt in the contemplation of some
plot for story or play. But somehow I got through school without a
decided flunk. In the mean time some of my lines had found their way
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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