And now, it had grown too dark, even for comic pictures. Marsden and
Rhoda whispered together; his raucous chuckle chimed well with the cold
ring of her laughter. And the night rose above them. Quincy’s mind went
leaping through it as if light were a barrier at last effaced. He was
comfortable in his chair. He wondered whether, perhaps, he was not face
to face with a more comfortable future. His heart went out to his
brothers and sisters, so eager was he to prove his dream’s
verisimilitude. One so beautiful as Rhoda could not be hard of heart;
nor one so rubicund as Jonas, nor so suffering as Marsden, nor so meek
as Adelaide. Oh! if they but gave him a chance--how good and kind and
loving he would be! He was getting old now. He was fifteen. He could
find ways to be of use. He could make his new happiness efficient. He
could read to Marsden when he was tired; he could try to learn jokes to
tell to Jonas; he could run errands for his sisters. He would use his
body and his mind to show his gratitude, to prove his worth. Quincy went
swimming through the element of his desire. The hum of the Elevated
trains, the croon of the cars past the street, the rattle of a wagon
merged into a varied harmony, all pliant to his gentle mood. The little
fellow clasped the arm of his chair as if to hold on to this fleet state
of happiness and so sustain it....
Marsden’s voice cut into him, like a knife.
“Quincy,” it said, “turn on the lights.”
The lad jumped up and complied. The cold glare of the electric beat out
the gentle color of the dusk. But already, his brother’s tone had
dispersed the dream which that dusk had nurtured. Quincy went back to
his chair. But he was very wide-awake, now; and his thoughts were
pragmatic. How he did spin nonsense to himself! A double resentment was
on foot: against reality purely as such, and also as the disturber of
his fancies. He looked at Marsden in the cruel light and found that he
despised him. Rhoda was smugly smiling over a magazine she had now
resumed. He hated her, for that. She had not felt the sting in Marsden’s
order, or, if she had, it was with a feeling of approval. It required no
more than this to turn the edge of Quincy’s mood. Jonas began to talk.
He was boasting of a college celebration; of his friends. He alluded
slyly to a girl. Rhoda, in her new magnanimous contentment, nodded her
sympathy for his crass pranks. To Quincy it was as if all of his
brother’s triumphs had been related to draw attention to his own social
poverty. So he resented Jonas. And since even Marsden’s fastidious
attention had been drawn, he blanketed in his bitter sense of exclusion
all of those whom but a minute before he had been glowing to embrace.
Adelaide, meantime, had actually fallen asleep. Her head was thrown back
on the upholstered couch. Her lips were parted. Quincy observed how
small and white her teeth were. He found her stupid.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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