France -- History -- Louis XIV, 1643-1715 -- Fiction; Fronde -- Fiction
"I could do no less, since you were ruining yourself," Claire replied;
it disturbed her peace of mind to tell even so harmless a falsehood as
that, at the tribunal of truth.
"I am to understand then, madame," said Canolles, "that I owe the favor
of your presence here to no other sentiment than compassion. Surely you
will agree that I was entitled to expect something more than that from
you."
"Let us speak seriously," said Claire, trying in vain to steady her
trembling voice, "and as we ought to speak in a holy place. You are
ruining yourself, I say again, by frequenting Monsieur Lavie's house,
who is the princess's sworn enemy. Yesterday Madame de Condé heard of
it from Monsieur de La Rochefoucauld, who knows everything, and she
said this, which alarmed me greatly:--
"'If we have to guard against plotting by our prisoners, we must be as
severe as we have been indulgent. Precarious situations demand decisive
measures; we are not only ready to take such measures, but resolved to
carry them out.'"
The viscountess's voice was under better control as she said this; she
had faith to believe that God would pardon the action in consideration
of the excuse; it was a sort of sop thrown to her conscience.
"I am not her Highness's knight, madame, but yours," said Canolles. "I
surrendered to you, to you alone; you know under what circumstances,
and on what conditions."
"I did not think," said Claire, "that any conditions were agreed on."
"Not by word of mouth, perhaps, but in the heart. Ah! madame, after
what you said to me, after the happiness you led me to anticipate,
after the hope you authorized me to entertain!--ah! madame, confess
that you have been very cruel."
"My friend," said Claire, "is it for you to reproach me because I cared
as much for your honor as for my own? And do you not understand without
forcing me to make the admission--surely you must divine that I have
suffered as much as yourself, yes, more than you, for I had not the
strength to bear my suffering. Listen to what I say, and may my words,
which come from the bottom of my heart, sink as deep into yours. My
friend, as I told you, I have suffered more keenly than you, because I
am haunted by a fear which you cannot have, knowing as you do that I
love you alone. In your enforced abode here, do you ever regret her who
is not here? In your dreams of the future, have you any hope of which I
am not a part?"
"Madame," said Canolles, "you appeal to my frankness, and I will speak
frankly to you. Yes, when you leave me to my sorrowful reflections;
when you leave me alone face to face with the past; when by your
absence you condemn me to wander among gambling-hells and brothels with
these beplumed idiots; when you turn your eyes away from me, or compel
me to pay so dearly for a word, a gesture, a glance, of which I may be
unworthy,--at such times I reproach myself bitterly because I did not
die in harness; I blame myself for capitulating; I suffer from regret,
and from remorse."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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