It seemed to me that I had at last got the truth of her. All my
guesses, my suspicions of something like duplicity, even my
recollection of our first meeting were swept out of my mind. She sat,
her white face gleaming strangely solemn under her black wealth of
hair, her white hand flashing backwards and forwards, and she made the
violin speak. It spoke of all things, things most sad and things most
joyous; it spoke with complete knowledge of the heights and the
depths; it woke new, vague, uncomprehended hungers in one's heart; it
called and called till all one's most sacred memories rose up, as it
were from graves, to answer the summons. It told me, I know, all my
life, from my childhood in the country to the day when I set out with
my cadet's portion to London. It sang with almost a pæan of those
first arduous years--set them to a march,--and then with a great pity
told of those eight wasted years that followed--years littered with
cards, stained with drink; years in which, and there was the
humiliation of it, my fellow-drunkards, my fellow-gamblers had all
been younger than myself--years in which I grew a million years old.
That violin told it all out to me, until I twisted in my chair through
sheer shame, and I looked up and the girl's eyes were fixed upon me.
What it was that compelled me to speak I could never tell, unless it
was the violin. But as she looked at me, and as that violin sobbed out
its notes, I cried in a passionate excuse:
"You asked me how old I was. Do you know I never was young--I never
had the chance of youth! When the chance came, I had forgotten what
youth can do. That accounts, surely, for those eight years. I was
tired then, and I was never young."
"Until to-night," she said quietly, and the music quickened. I suppose
that she was right, for I had never spoken so intimately to any one,
whether man or woman; and I cursed myself for a fool, as one does when
one is first betrayed into speaking of one's secret self.
She took the violin from her shoulder, and the glory of the music died
off the sea, but lingered for a little faintly upon the hills. I rose
up to go and Helen drew a breath and shivered.
"This afternoon," said I, "a brig went out from the islands through
Crow Sound, bound for Milford. I'll wager the five were on it."
"But if not?"
"There's the 'Palace' kitchen."
"Speak when there are others by, not within hearing, but within reach!
You will? Promise me!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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