The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas PlaysHare, Walter Ben
Religion
The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas Plays
Hare, Walter Ben
Christmas plays
MRS. MULLIGAN (_takes fringed bureau cover from wash-basket_). Look
here, now, Bridget Honora, see what I've found in the wash. It's a
tidy to go on top of a dresser, but I'm thinking it's just the thing
to fill the gap between the skirt and the waist of Mary Ann.
BRIDGET. Yes, maw. (_Exit R._)
_Enter_ PATSY _from R. He runs in and is very much excited._
PATSY. Oh, maw, maw, come quick! Hurry, or he'll be drowned.
MRS. MULLIGAN. What is it, Patsy? Spake quick.
PATSY. It's Teddy Magee. I was givin' him a wash in the rain-barrel,
when all of a sudden, bad luck to him, he slipped through me fingers
and fell head-first down in the barrel. (_Cries._) Oh, it's drownded
dead he'll be. Oh, oh! (_Cries._)
MRS. MULLIGAN. Oh, me baby, me baby! (_Rushes out at R._)
_Enter_ NORA _and_ CLARISSA _from L._
NORA. Now sit right down there, Clarissa, and don't be moving a hair,
because you're all fixed and ready for the entertainment.
CLARISSA. And how do I look, Nora?
NORA. Ye look like a Christmas angel, so you do. Your hair curled just
lovely and your striped stockings will be the admiration and envy of
the entire Sunday School.
PATSY. Oh, Nora Eudora, come on quick. Teddy Magee fell in the
rain-barrel and it's drownded dead he is intirely. (_Cries._)
NORA. In the rain-barrel? How did he get in the rain-barrel?
PATSY. Sure, I was washing him, I was. And he was that slippery with
the soap that he slid through me fingers and down to the bottom of the
barrel.
NORA. Oh, the poor little Teddy Magee. (_Runs out R., followed by_
PATSY _and_ CLARISSA.)
_Enter_ MARY ANN _and_ PETER PAN _from L._
MARY ANN. And how de yeez like me new sash, Peter Pan?
PETER PAN. Scwumptious.
MARY ANN. It's a tidy cover off'n a bureau, and I don't want to wear
it at all, at all. Folks'll be after thinking I'm a bureau. Don't it
look funny, Peter Pan?
PETER PAN. Scwumptious.
MARY ANN. I'm not going to wear it, so I'm not.
_Enter_ BRIDGET _from L._
BRIDGET. Mary Ann Mulligan, and what are yeez trying to do with your
nice new sash?
MARY ANN. I ain't going to wear no tidy cover. Folks'll be after
thinking I'm a bureau.
BRIDGET. Sure they'll think worse than that if yeez take it off.
That's what comes of yer growing so fast. Yer skirt is fer six years
old, and yer waist is fer six years old, and so you have to wear the
sash to help out the other two years. Sashes are awful stylish,
anyhow. It's pretty, too, ain't it, Peter Pan?
PETER PAN. Scwumptious.
_Enter_ MRS. MULLIGAN _from R., followed by_ PASTY _and_ NORA.
MRS. MULLIGAN. It's lucky for him that there wasn't any more water in
the rain-barrel, or he would have been drownded dead sure. Patsy, yeez
had no business to let him drop. Nora, you go out and finish him.
Where's Clarissa?
_Enter_ CLARISSA _from R._
CLARISSA. Here I am, maw.
MRS. MULLIGAN (_looks her over carefully_). Well, you're all ready.
That's one. Nora and Patsy and Matsy are all ready. That makes four.
Mary Ann, are you all fixed?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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