American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"Well, I hope you're right," grunted Mr. O'Shea, "but don't coddle
them."
And so the incident closed. The sleeve link was tucked, before Morris's
yearning eyes, into the reluctant pocket of the wide white waistcoat,
and Morris returned to his place. He found his reader and the proper
page, and the lesson went on with brisk serenity; real on the children's
part, but bravely assumed on Teacher's. Child after child stood up,
read, sat down again, and it came to be the duty of Bertha Binderwitz to
read the entire page of which the others had each read a line. She began
jubilantly, but soon stumbled, hesitated, and wailed:
"Stands a fierce word. I don't know what it is," and Teacher turned to
write the puzzling word upon the blackboard.
Morris's heart stopped with a sickening suddenness and then rushed madly
on again. He had a new and dreadful duty to perform. All his mother's
counsel, all his father's precepts told him that it was his duty. Yet
fear held him in his little seat behind his little desk, while his
conscience insisted on this unalterable decree of the social code: "So
somebody's clothes is wrong it's polite you says ''scuse' and tells it
out."
And here was Teacher whom he dearly loved, whose ideals of personal
adornment extended to full sets of buttons on jumpers and to laces in
both shoes, here was his immaculate lady fair in urgent need of
assistance and advice, and all because she had on that day inaugurated a
delightfully vigorous exercise for which, architecturally, she was not
designed.
There was yet room for hope that some one else would see the breach and
brave the danger. But no. The visitor sat stolidly in the chair of
state, the Principal sat serenely beside him, the children sat each in
his own little place, behind his own little desk, keeping his own little
eyes on his own little book. No. Morris's soul cried with Hamlet's:
"The time is out of joint;--O cursed spite,
That ever I was born to set it right!"
Up into the quiet air went his timid hand. Teacher, knowing him in his
more garrulous moods, ignored the threatened interruption of Bertha's
spirited resume, but the windmill action of the little arm attracted the
Honorable Tim's attention.
"The best of boys wants you," he suggested, and Teacher perforce asked:
"Well, Morris, what is it?"
Not until he was on his feet did the Monitor of the Gold-Fish Bowl
appreciate the enormity of the mission he had undertaken. The other
children began to understand, and watched his struggle for words and
breath with sympathy or derision, as their natures prompted. But there
are no words in which one may politely mention ineffective safety-pins
to one's glass of fashion. Morris's knees trembled queerly, his
breathing grew difficult, and Teacher seemed a very great way off as she
asked again:
"Well, what is it, dear?"
Morris panted a little, smiled weakly, and then sat down. Teacher was
evidently puzzled, the "comp'ny" alert, the Principal uneasy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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