American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Billy now planted himself astraddle, like an inverted V; shot forward
his left hip, drew his body back to an angle of about forty-five degrees
with the plane of the horizon, brought his cheek down close to the
breech of old Soap-stick, and fixed her upon the mark with untrembling
hand. His sight was long, and the swelling muscles of his left arm led
me to believe that he was lessening his chance of success with every
half second that he kept it burdened with his ponderous rifle; but it
neither flagged nor wavered until Soap-stick made her report.
"Where am I?" said Billy, as the smoke rose from before his eye.
"You've jist touched the cross on the lower side," was the reply of one
of the judges.
"I was afraid I was drawing my bead a _leetle_ too fine," said Billy.
"Now, Lyman, you see what the Soap-stick can do. Take her, and show the
boys how you used to do when you was a baby."
I begged to reserve my shot to the last; pleading, rather
sophistically, that it was, in point of fact, one of the Billy's shots.
My plea was rather indulged than sustained, and the marksmen who had
taken more than one shot commenced the second round. This round was a
manifest improvement upon the first. The cross was driven three times:
once by Spivey, once by Firmby, and once by no less a personage than
Mealy Whitecotton, whom chance seemed to favor for this time, merely
that he might retaliate upon Hiram Baugh; and the bull's-eye was
disfigured out of all shape.
The third and fourth rounds were shot. Billy discharged his last shot,
which left the rights of parties thus: Billy Curlew first and fourth
choice, Spivey second, Firmby third and Whitecotton fifth. Some of my
readers may perhaps be curious to learn how a distinction comes to be
made between several, all of whom drive the cross. The distinction is
perfectly natural and equitable. Threads are stretched from the
uneffaced parts of the once intersecting lines, by means of which the
original position of the cross is precisely ascertained. Each
bullet-hole being nicely pegged up as it is made, it is easy to
ascertain its circumference. To this I believe they usually, if not
invariably, measure, where none of the balls touch the cross; but if the
cross be driven, they measure from it to the center of the bullet-hole.
To make a draw shot, therefore, between two who drive the cross, it is
necessary that the center of both balls should pass directly through the
cross; a thing that very rarely happens.
_The Bite_ alone remained to shoot. Billy wiped out his rifle carefully,
loaded her to the top of his skill, and handed her to me. "Now," said
he, "Lyman, draw a fine bead, but not too fine; for Soap-stick bears up
her ball well. Take care and don't touch the trigger until you've got
your bead; for she's spring-trigger'd and goes mighty easy: but you
hold her to the place you want her, and if she don't go there, dang old
Roper."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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