American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
Our hero handed the cards to his father, who, dropping the plow-line
with which he had intended to tie Simon's hands, turned his back to that
individual, in order to prevent his witnessing the operation of
_mixing_. He then sat down, and very leisurely commenced shuffling the
cards, making, however, an exceedingly awkward job of it. Restive
_kings_ and _queens_ jumped from his hands, or obstinately refused to
slide into the company of the rest of the pack. Occasionally a sprightly
_knave_ would insist on _facing_ his neighbor; or, pressing his edge
against another's, half double himself up, and then skip away. But Elder
Jed'diah perseveringly continued his attempts to subdue the refractory,
while heavy drops burst from his forehead, and ran down his cheeks. All
of a sudden an idea, quick and penetrating as a rifle-ball, seemed to
have entered the cranium of the old man. He chuckled audibly. The devil
had suggested to Mr. Suggs an _impromptu_ "stock," which would place the
chances of Simon, already sufficiently slim in the old man's opinion,
without the range of possibility. Mr. Suggs forthwith proceeded to cut
all the _picter ones_, so as to be certain to include the _Jacks_, and
place them at the bottom, with the evident intention of keeping Simon's
fingers above these when he should cut. Our hero, who was quietly
looking over his father's shoulders all the time, did not seem alarmed
by this disposition of the cards; on the contrary, he smiled, as if he
felt perfectly confident of success, in spite of it.
"Now, daddy," said Simon, when his father had announced himself ready,
"narry one of us ain't got to look at the cards, while I'm a-cuttin'; if
we do, it'll spile the conjuration."
"Very well."
"And another thing: you've got to look me right dead in the eye, daddy;
will you?"
"To be sure,--to be sure," said Mr. Suggs; "fire away."
Simon walked up close to his father, and placed his hand on the pack.
Old Mr. Suggs looked in Simon's eye, and Simon returned the look for
about three seconds, during which a close observer might have detected a
suspicious working of the wrist of the hand on the cards, but the elder
Suggs did not remark it.
"Wake snakes! day's a-breakin'! Rise, Jack!" said Simon, cutting half a
dozen cards from the top of the pack, and presenting the face of the
bottom one for the inspection of his father.
It was the Jack of hearts!
Old Mr. Suggs staggered back several steps, with uplifted eyes and
hands!
"Marciful master!" he exclaimed, "ef the boy hain't! Well, how in the
round creation of the--! Ben, did you ever? To be sure and sartain,
Satan has power on this yearth!" and Mr. Suggs groaned in very
bitterness.
"You never seed nothin' like that in _Augusty_, did ye, daddy?" asked
Simon, with a malicious wink at Ben.
"Simon, how _did_ you do it?" queried the old man, without noticing his
son's question.
"Do it, daddy? Do it? 'Tain't nothin'. I done it jist as easy
as--shootin'."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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