American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
"And then King Sol he quite down in the jaw, and he turn and ax if
somebody wouldn't hunt up a soljur as would fite juul with um; and he'd
give um his dawtah, the prinsuss, for wife, and make um king's
son-in-law. And then one old koretur, they call him Abnah, he comes up
and says to Sol so: 'Please, your majustee, sir, I kin git a young
fellah to fite um,' says he. And Abnah tells how Davy had jist rid up in
his carruge and left um with the man what tend the hossis--and how he
heern Davy a quorl'n with his bruthers and a wantun to fite the jiunt.
Then King Sol, he feel mighty glad, I tell you, sinnahs, and he make um
bring um up, and King Sol he begins a-talkin so, and Davy he answers
so:--
"'What's your name, lilly fellah?'
"'I was krissen'd Davy.'
"'Who's your farder?'
"'They call um Jesse.'
"'What you follur for livin?'
"'I 'tend my farder's sheep.'
"'What you kum arter? Ain't you affeerd of that 'ar grate ugly ole jiunt
up thar, lilly Davy?'
"'I kum to see arter my udder brudurs, and bring um in our carruge some
cheese and muttun, and some clene shirt and trowser, and have tother
ones wash'd. And when I cum I hear ole Golliawh a hollerin out for
somebody to cum and fite juul with um; and all the soljurs round thar
they begins for to make traks mighty quick, I tell you, please your
majuste, sir, for thar tents; but, says I, what you run for? I'm not
a-gwyin for to run away--if King Sol wants somebody for to fite the
jiunt, I'll fite um for um.'
"'I mighty feer'd, lilly Davy you too leetul for um--'
"'No! King Sol, I kin lick um. One day I gits asleep ahind a rock, and
out kums a lion and a bawr, and begins a-totin off a lilly lam; and when
I heern um roarin and pawin 'bout, I rubs my eyes and sees um gwyin to
the mountings--and I arter and ketch'd up and kill um both without no
gun nor sword--and I bring back poor lilly lamb. I kin lick ole Goliawh,
I tell you, please your majuste, sir.'
"Then King Sol he wery glad, and pat um on the head, and calls um 'lilly
Davy,' and wants to put on um his own armur made of brass and sheetirum
and to take his sword, but Davy didn't like um, but said he'd trust to
his sling. And then out he goes to fite the ole jiunt; and this 'ar
brings me to the fourth and last diwishin of our surmun.
"'Tention once more agin, for lass time, as I'm gwyin to give most
purtikurlust 'zactest 'count of the juul atween lilly Davy and ole
Goliawh the jiunt, to show, lubly sinnah! how the Lord's peepul without
no carnul gun nor sword, can fite ole Bellzybub and knock um over with
the sling rock of prayer, as lilly Davy knocked over Goliawh with hissin
out of the Branch.
"And to 'lusterut the juul and make um spikus, I'll show 'zactly how
they talk'd, and jaw'd, and fit it all out; and so ole Goliawh when he
sees Davy a kumun, he hollurs out so, and lilly Davy he say back so:
"'What you kum for, lilly Jew?--'
"'What I kum for? you'll find out mighty quick, I tell you--I kum for
fite juul--'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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