_Wood._ Immediately.--[_Goes to open the Door hastily, and breaks his Key._] What is the matter here? the key turns round, and will not open! As I live, we are undone! with too much haste it is broken! _Mrs Brain._ Then I am lost; for I cannot enter into my own. _Wood._ This next room is Limberham's. See! the door's open; and he and his mistress are both abroad. _Mrs Brain._ There is no remedy, I must venture in; for his knowing I am come back so soon, must be cause of jealousy enough, if the fool should find me. _Wood._ [_Looking in._] See there! Mrs Tricksy has left her Indian gown upon the bed; clap it on, and turn your back: he will easily mistake you for her, if he should look in upon you. _Mrs Brain._ I will put on my vizor-mask, however, for more security. [_Noise._] Hark! I hear him. [_Goes in._ _Enter_ BRAINSICK. _Brain._ What, in a musty musing, monsieur Woodall! Let me enter into the affair. _Wood._ You may guess it, by the post I have taken up. _Brain._ O, at the door of the damsel Tricksy! your business is known by your abode; as the posture of a porter before a gate, denotes to what family he belongs. [_Looks in._] It is an assignation, I see; for yonder she stands, with her back toward me, drest up for the duel, with all the ornaments of the east. Now for the judges of the field, to divide the sun and wind betwixt the combatants, and a tearing trumpeter to sound the charge. _Wood._ It is a private quarrel, to be decided without seconds; and therefore you would do me a favour to withdraw. _Brain._ Your Limberham is nearer than you imagine: I left him almost entering at the door. _Wood._ Plague of all impertinent cuckolds! they are ever troublesome to us honest lovers: so intruding! _Brain._ They are indeed, where their company is not desired. _Wood._ Sure he has some tutelar devil to guard his brows! just when she had bobbed him, and made an errand home, to come to me! _Brain._ It is unconscionably done of him. But you shall not adjourn your love for this: the Brainsick has an ascendant over him; I am your guarantee; he is doomed a cuckold, in disdain of destiny. _Wood._ What mean you? _Brain._ To stand before the door with my brandished blade, and defend the entrance: He dies upon the point, if he approaches. _Wood._ If I durst trust it, it is heroic. _Brain._ It is the office of a friend: I will do it. _Wood._ [_Aside._] Should he know hereafter his wife were here, he would think I had enjoyed her, though I had not; it is best venturing for something. He takes pains enough, on conscience, for his cuckoldom; and, by my troth, has earned it fairly.--But, may a man venture upon your promise? _Brain._ Bars of brass, and doors of adamant, could not more secure you. _Wood._ I know it; but still gentle means are best: You may come to force at last. Perhaps you may wheedle him away: it is but drawing a trope or two upon him.