_Merc._ 'Tis a perverse rascal: I kick him, and cudgel him, to no purpose; for still he's obstinate to stick to me; and I can never beat him out of my resemblance. _Phæd._ Which of you two is Sosia? for t'other must be the devil. _Sos._ You had best ask him, that has played the devil with my back and sides. _Merc._ You had best ask him,--who gave you the gold goblet? _Phæd._ No, that's already given; but he shall be my Sosia, that will give me such another. _Merc._ I find you have been interloping, sirrah. _Sos._ No, indeed, sir; I only promised her a gold thimble, which was as much as comes to my proportion of being Sosia. _Phæd._ This is no Sosia for my money; beat him away, t'other Sosia; he grows insufferable. _Sos._ [_Aside._] Would I were valiant, that I might beat him away; and succeed him at the dinner, for a pragmatical son of a whore, as he is! _Merc._ What's that you are muttering betwixt your teeth, of a son of a whore, sirrah? _Sos._ I am sure, I meant you no offence; for, if I am not Sosia, I am the son of a whore, for aught I know; and, if you are Sosia, you may be the son of a whore, for aught you know. _Merc._ Whatever I am, I will be Sosia, as long as I please; and whenever you visit me, you shall be sure of the civility of the cudgel. _Sos._ If you will promise to beat me into the house, you may begin when you please with me; but to be beaten out of the house, at dinner-time, flesh and blood can never bear it. [MERCURY _beats him about, and_ SOSIA _is still making towards the Door; but_ MERCURY _gets betwixt, and at length drives him off the Stage_. _Phæd._ In the name of wonder, what are you, that are Sosia, and are not Sosia? _Merc._ If thou would'st know more of me, my person is freely at thy disposing. _Phæd._ Then I dispose of it to you again; for 'tis so ugly, 'tis not for my use. _Merc._ I can be ugly, or handsome, as I please; go to bed old, and rise young. I have so many suits of persons by me, I can shift them when I will. _Phæd._ You are a fool, then, to put on your worst clothes, when you come a-wooing. _Merc._ Go to; ask no more questions. I am for thy turn; for I know thy heart, and see all thou hast about thee. _Phæd._ Then you can see my backside too; there's a bargain for you. _Merc._ In thy right pocket:--let me see; three love letters from judge Gripus, written to the bottom, on three sides; full of fustian passion, and hearty nonsense: as also, in the same pocket, a letter of thine intended to him, consisting of nine lines and a half, scrawled and false spelled, to show thou art a woman; and full of fraudulence, and equivocations, and shoeing-horns of love to him; to promise much, and mean nothing; to show, over and above, that thou art a mere woman. _Phæd._ Is the devil in you, to see all this? Now, for heaven's sake, do not look in t'other pocket. _Merc._ Nay, there's nothing there, but a little godly prayer-book, and a bawdy lampoon, and----