The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 11 (of 12): Dresden Edition—MiscellanyIngersoll, Robert Green
Religion
The Works of Robert G. Ingersoll, Vol. 11 (of 12): Dresden Edition—Miscellany
Ingersoll, Robert Green
Free thought
There was a time when the Catholic Church was in power in the Old World.
All at once there arose a man called Martin Luther, and what did the
dear old Catholics think? "Oh," they said, "that man and his followers
are going to hell." But they did not go. They were very good people.
They may have been mistaken--I do not know. I think they were right in
their opposition to Catholicism--but I have just as much objection to
the religion they founded as I have to the church they left. But they
thought they were right, and they made very good citizens, and it turned
out that their differing from the Mother Church did not hurt them.
And then after awhile they began to divide, and there arose Baptists;
and-the other gentlemen, who believed in this law that is now in New
Jersey, began cutting off their ears so that they could hear better;
they began putting them in prison so that they would have a chance to
think. But the Baptists turned out to be good folks--first rate--good
husbands, good fathers, good citizens. And in a little while, in
England, the people turned to be Episcopalians, on account of a little
war that Henry VIII. had with the Pope,--and I always sided with the
Pope in that war--but it made no difference; and in a little while
the Episcopalians turned out to be just about like other folks--no
worse--and, as I know of, no better.
After awhile arose the Puritan, and the Episcopalian said, "We don't
want anything of him--he is a bad man;" and they finally drove some of
them away and they settled in New England, and there were among
them Quakers, than whom there never were better people on the
earth--industrious, frugal, gentle, kind and loving--and yet these
Puritans began hanging them. They said: "They are corrupting our
children; if this thing goes on, everybody will believe in being kind
and gentle and good, and what will become of us?" They were honest about
it. So they went to cutting off ears. But the Quakers were good people
and none of the prophecies were fulfilled.
In a little while there came some Unitarians and they said, "The world
is going to ruin, sure;"--but the world went on as usual, and the
Unitarians produced men like Channing--one of the tenderest spirits that
ever lived--they produced men like Theodore Parker--one of the greatest
brained and greatest hearted men produced upon this continent--a good
man--and yet they thought he was a blasphemer--they even prayed for his
death--on their bended knees they asked their God to take time to kill
him. Well, they were mistaken. Honest, probably.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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