I counted miseries by the heap, But now have had my fill, I cannot see, I do not sleep, _But shortly I shall kill_. Of many letters, here is a Full End. The last will and testament of a demitting correspondent. My indefatigable pen I here lay down forever. Men Have used, and left me, and forgot; Men are entirely off the spot; Men are a _blague_ and an abuse; And I commit them to the deuce! RODERICK LAMOND STEVENSON. I had companions, I had friends, I had of whisky various blends. The whisky was all drunk; and lo! The friends were gone for evermo! * * * * * The loquacious man at peace.* And when I marked the ingratitude, I to my maker turned, and spewed. RANDOLPH LOVEL STEVENSON. A pen broken, a subverted ink-pot. Here endeth the Familiar Correspondence of R. L. S.** Explicuerunt Epistolae Stevensonianae Omnes.** All men are rot; but there are two-- Sidney, the oblivious Slade, and you-- Who from that rabble stand confest Ten million times the rottenest. R. L. S. When I was sick and safe in gaol I thought my friends would never fail. One wrote me nothing; t'other bard Sent me an insolent post-card. R. L. S. Terminus: Silentia.** FINIS Finaliter finium** IF NOBODY WRITES TO ME I SHALL DIE I now write no more. RICHARD LEFANU STEVENSON, Duke of Indignation Mark Tacebo, Isaac Blood } Secretary John Blind } Vain-hope Go-to-bed } witnesses Israel Sciatica } ----- The finger on the mouth. ----- * Originally reversed print. ** Originally sideways print. TO SIDNEY COLVIN The allusions in the second paragraph are to the commanders in the Nile campaigns of those years. _La Solitude, Hyeres, 9th March 1884._ MY DEAR S. C.,--You will already have received a not very sane note from me; so your patience was rewarded--may I say, your patient silence? However, now comes a letter, which on receipt, I thus acknowledge. I have already expressed myself as to the political aspect. About Grahame, I feel happier; it does seem to have been really a good, neat, honest piece of work. We do not seem to be so badly off for commanders: Wolseley and Roberts, and this pile of Woods, Stewarts, Alisons, Grahames, and the like. Had we but ONE statesman on any side of the house!