*_“Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee._ O, I feel it is heaven to please him, and to be just what he would have me to be! O that my soul were _holy, as he is holy_! O that it were _pure, even as Christ is pure_: and _perfect, as my Father in heaven is perfect_! These, I feel, are the sweetest commands in God’s book, comprising all others. And shall I break them! Must I break them! Am I under a necessity of it as long as I live in the world!¹ O my soul, wo, wo is me that I am a sinner, because I grieve and offend this blessed God, who is infinite in goodness and grace! Oh methinks, if he would punish me for my sins, it would not wound my heart so deep to offend him: but though I sin continually, yet he continually repeats his kindness to me! I could bear any suffering; but how can I bear to grieve and dishonour this blessed God! How shall I yield ten thousand times more honour to him? What shall I do to glorify this best of beings? O that I could consecrate myself, soul and body, to his service for ever! O that I give up myself to him, so as never more to attempt to be my own, or to have any will or affections that are not perfectly ♦conformed to him! But, alas, alas! I cannot be thus entirely devoted to God.² O ye angels, do ye glorify him incessantly; and if possible, prostrate yourselves lower before the blessed King of Heaven! I long to bear a part with you; and, if it were possible, to help you. Oh, when we have done all that we can, to all eternity, we shall not be able to offer the ten thousandth part of the homage that the glorious God deserves!” ¹ No. ♦ “confirmed” replaced with “conformed” per Errata ² You may as sure as God is true. Thursday, February 9. I observed this day as a day of fasting and prayer, intreating of God to bestow upon me his blessing and grace: especially to enable me to live a life of mortification to the world, as well as of resignation and patience. I enjoyed a realizing sense of divine power and goodness in prayer: and was enabled to roll the burden of myself and friends, and of Zion, upon the goodness of God. Friday, February 10. I was exceedingly oppressed with shame, grief, and fear, under a sense of my past folly. When God sets before me my past misconduct, especially any instances of _misguided zeal_, it sinks my soul into shame and confusion.――I have no confidence to hold up my face, even before my fellow-worms; but only when my soul confides in God, and I find the sweet temper of Christ, the spirit of humility, solemnity, and mortification, and resignation, alive in my soul.