Said she, my taste will never learn To like so huge a man, So I must beg you will come here As little as you can. But still be stoutly urged his suit, With vows, and sighs, and tears, Yet could not pierce her heart, altho’ He drove the Dart for years. In vain he wooed, in vain he sued; The maid was cold and proud, And sent him off to Coventry, While on his way to Stroud. He fretted all the way to Stroud, And thence all back to town; The course of love was never smooth, So his went up and down. At last her coldness made him pine To merely bones and skin; But still he loved like one resolved To love through thick and thin. Oh, Mary, view my wasted back, And see my dwindled calf; Tho’ I have never had a wife, I’ve lost my better half. Alas, in vain he still assailed, Her heart withstood the dint; Though he had carried sixteen stone He could not move a flint. Worn out, at last he made a vow To break his being’s link; For he was so reduced in size At nothing he could shrink. Now some will talk in water’s praise And waste a deal of breath, But John, tho’ he drank nothing else-- He drank himself to death. The cruel maid that caused his love, Found out the fatal close, For, looking in the butt, she saw The butt-end of his woes. Some say his spirit haunts the Crown, But that is only talk-- For after riding all his life, His ghost objects to walk. [Illustration: THE BOX SEAT.] [Illustration: THE SUBLIME AND THE RIDICULOUS.] THE PARISH REVOLUTION. “From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step.” _Alarming news from the country--awful insurrection at Stoke Pogis--The Military called out--Flight of the Mayor._ We are concerned to state, that accounts were received in town at a late hour last night, of an alarming state of things at Stoke Pogis. Nothing private is yet made public; but report speaks of very serious occurrences. The number of killed is not known, as no despatches have been received. _Further Particulars._ Nothing is known yet; papers have been received down to the 4th of November, but they are not up to anything. _Further further Particulars_ (_Private Letter_).