The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original IllustrationsHood, Thomas
General
The Works of Thomas Hood; Vol. 02 (of 11): Comic and Serious, in Prose and Verse, With All the Original Illustrations
Hood, Thomas
English poetry -- 19th century; English wit and humor; Humorous poetry, English
trays, was blamable in the extreme, to express the least of it. Another
feature which caused much unpleasantness, was Mr. Davis persisting to
scrutinise and rummage the entire premises from top to bottom, but on
this characteristic tediousness forbids to dwell, and more particularly
as mainly affecting himself, such as the flow of blood from his nose,
and two coagulated eyes, from the cellar door, through a peculiar
whim of looking for every thing in a state of absolute obscurity. I
may add, by way of incident, that Mr. Davis walks lame from a canine
injury in the calf of his leg, which I hope will not prove rabid in the
end,--but the animals he has on his own responsibility introduced on
the premises, really resemble, begging your Ladyship’s pardon for the
expression, what are denominated D.’s incarnate.
Such, your Ladyship, is the unpropitious posture of domestic affairs
at the Shrubbery, originating, I must say, exclusively from the
unprecedented deviations of Mr. Davis. A mild construction would infer,
from such extraordinary extravagance of conduct, a flightiness, or
aberration of mind in the individual, but I deeply lament to say a
more obvious cause exists to put a negative on such a surmise. For
the last week Mr. Davis has betrayed an unusual propensity to pass
his evenings at the George Tavern, and in consequence has several
times exhibited himself in a Bacchanalian character to our extreme
discomforture, and on one occasion actually trespassed so far beyond
the bounds of modesty, as to offer me the rudeness of a salute. I
blush to impart such details to your Ladyship; but justice demands an
explicit statement, however repulsive to violated reserve and the rules
of virtue. Amongst less immoral actions, I must advert to the arrival
of two new engines with a vast number of leathern buckets, I fear
ordered by Mr. Davis at my honoured master’s expense, and which are
periodically exercised in pumping every day, by the gardeners and the
hinds, being induced thereto by extra beverages of strong beer. By such
means the aquatic supply of the well is frequently exhausted by playing
upon nothing,--and at this present moment I am justified in stating we
have not sufficient water to fulfil culinary purposes, or the demands
of cleanliness. I feel ashamed to say there is not a strictly clean cap
in the whole household.
[Illustration: THE UNITED SERVICE.]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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