The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894
General
The yellow book, an illustrated quarterly. Vol. 3, October, 1894
English literature -- 19th century -- Periodicals; Great Britain -- Periodicals; Literature, Modern -- 19th century -- Periodicals
“I am afraid, afraid,” she murmured.
Their eyes alike sought instinctively the Convent of the Ursulines,
white and sequestered in the valley--a visible symbol of security, of
peace, perhaps of happiness.
“Even there they have their bad days: do not doubt it.”
“But nothing happens,” she said simply; “one day is like another. They
can never be very sad, you know.”
They were silent for a time: the girl, shading her eyes with one small
white hand, continued to regard the convent; and Campion considered her
fondly.
“What can I say?” he exclaimed at last. “What would you put on me? Your
uncle--he is a priest--surely the most natural adviser--you know his
wishes.”
She shook her head. “With him it is different--I am one of his
family--he is not a priest for me. And he considers me a little
girl--and yet I am old enough to marry. Many young girls have had a
vocation before my age. Ah, help me, decide for me!” she pleaded; “you
are my _tuteur_.”
“And a very old friend, Marie-Ursule.” He smiled rather sadly. Last
year seemed so long ago, and the word, which he had almost spoken then,
was no longer seasonable. A note in his voice, inexplicable, might
have touched her. She took his hand impulsively, but he withdrew it
quickly, as though her touch had scalded him.
“You look very tired; you are not used to our Breton rambles in this
sun. See, I will run down to the cottage by the chapel and fetch you
some milk. Then you shall tell me.”
When he was alone the smile faded from his face and was succeeded
by a look of lassitude, as he sat himself beneath the shadow of the
Calvary to wrestle with his responsibility. Perhaps it was a vocation:
the phrase, sounding strangely on modern ears, to him, at least, was
no anachronism. Women of his race, from generation to generation, had
heard some such voice and had obeyed it. That it went unheeded now
was, perhaps, less a proof that it was silent, than that people had
grown hard and deaf, in a world that had deteriorated. Certainly the
convent had to him no vulgar, Protestant significance, to be combated
for its intrinsic barbarism; it suggested nothing cold nor narrow
nor mean, was veritably a gracious choice, a generous effort after
perfection. Then it was for his own sake, on an egoistic impulse,
that he should dissuade her? And it rested with him; he had no doubt
that he could mould her, even yet, to his purpose. The child! how he
loved her.... But would it ever be quite the same with them after
that morning? Or must there be henceforth a shadow between them; the
knowledge of something missed, of the lower end pursued, the higher
slighted? Yet, if she loved him? He let his head drop on his hands,
murmured aloud at the hard chance which made him at once judge and
advocate in his own cause. He was not conscious of praying, but his
mind fell into that condition of aching blankness which is, perhaps,
an extreme prayer. Presently he looked down again at Ploumariel, with
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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