The city was sweltering in a summer heat wave. The sun shone through a
dingy pall of vile smoke with a sickly, yellow, glare. From the
pavement and gutter, wet by the sprinkling wagons, in a vain effort to
lay the dust, a sticky, stinking, steam lifted, filling the nostrils
and laving the face with a combination of every filthy odor. The
atmosphere fairly reeked with the smell of sweating animals,
perspiring humanity, rotting garbage, and vile sewage. And, in the
midst of the hot filth, the people moved with languid, feeble manner;
their faces worn and pallid; their eyes dull and weary; their voices
thin and fretful.
The woman's heart was faint with the weight of suffering that she was
helpless to relieve. Her quivering nerves shrieked with the horror of
conditions that she could not change. Her brain ached with
contemplation of the cruel necessity that tortured humankind. Her very
soul was sick with the hopelessness of the gasping, choking,
struggling, multitude who, in their poverty and blindness, toiled to
preserve their lives of sorrow and pain and sought relief from their
labors in pleasures more horrible and destructive, by far, than the
slavery to which they gave themselves for the means to pay.
The woman was tired--very tired. Heart and nerves and brain and soul
and body were tired with a weariness that, it seemed to her, would
never pass. She was tired of the life into which she had gone because
it was the custom of the age and because of her necessity--the life
into which she had not wished to go because it denied her womanhood.
Because she knew herself to be a woman, she felt that she was being
robbed of the things of her womanhood. The brightness and beauty, the
strength and joyousness of her womanhood were, by her, held as sacred
trusts to be kept for her children and, through them, for the race.
She wearied of the struggle to keep the things of her womanhood from
the world that was taking them from her--that put a price upon
them--that used them as thoughtlessly as it uses the stone and metal
and wood that it takes from the earth. She was tired of the horrid
life that crowded her so closely--that crushed itself against her in
the crowded cars--that leered into her face on the street--that
reached out for her from every side--that hungered for her with a
fierce hunger and longed for her with a damnable, fiendish, longing.
She was faint and weak from contact with the loathsome things that she
was forced to know and that would leave their mark upon her womanhood
as surely as the touch of pitch defiles. And she was weary, so weary,
waiting for that one with whom she could cross the threshold of the
old, old, open door.
Little time was left to her, now, for thought and preparation for the
life of which she had dreamed. Little heart was left to her, now, for
dreaming. Little courage was left for hope. But still her dreams
lived. Still she waited. Still, at times, she hoped.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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