English drama -- Early modern and Elizabethan, 1500-1600; Heywood, Thomas, approximately 1574-1641
Bess.
No matter; we will take no note of them:
Here they vent many brave commodities,
By which some gain accrues. They’re my good customers,
And still return me profit.
Clem.
Wot you what, mistress, how the two sailors would have served me,
that called for the pound and a half of cheese?
Bess.
How was it, Clem?
Clem.
When I brought them a reckoning, they would have had me to have
scored it up. They took me for a simple gull, indeed, that would
have had me to have taken chalk for cheese.
Bess.
Well, go wait upon the captains: see them want no wine.
Clem.
Nor reckoning neither, take my word, mistress.
Roughman.
She’s now at leisure; I’ll to her.-- [_Coming forward_.
Lady, what gentlemen are those above?
Bess.
Sir, they are such as please to be my guests,
And they are kindly welcome.
Roughman.
Give me their names.
Bess.
You may go search the church-book where they were christened:
There you perhaps may learn them.
Roughman.
Minion, how!
Fawcett.
Fie, fie! you are too rude with this fair creature,
That no way seeks to offend you.
Bess.
Pray, hands off!
Roughman.
I tell thee, maid, wife, or whate’er thou beest,
No man shall enter here but by my leave.
Come, let’s be more familiar.
Bess.
’Las, good man!
Roughman.
Why, know’st thou whom thou slightest? I am Roughman,
The only approved gallant of these parts,
A man of whom the roarers stand in awe,
And must not be put off.
Bess.
I never yet heard man so praise himself,
But proved in the end a coward.
Roughman.
Coward, Bess!
You will offend me, raise in me that fury
Your beauty cannot calm. Go to; no more:
Your language is too harsh and peremptory;
Pray let me hear no more on’t. I tell thee
That quiet day scarce passed me these seven years
I have not cracked a weapon in some fray,
And will you move my spleen?
Fawcett.
What, threat a woman?
Bess.
Sir, if you thus persist to wrong my house,
Disturb my guests, and nightly domineer,
To put my friends from patience, I’ll complain
And right myself before the magistrate.
Can we not live in compass of the law,
But must be swaggered out on’t?
Roughman.
Go to, wench:
I wish thee well; think on’t, there’s good for thee
Stored in my breast; and when I come in place,
I must have no man to offend mine eye:
My love can brook no rivals. For this time
I am content your captains shall have peace,
But must not be used to it.
Bess.
Sir, if you come
Like other free and civil gentlemen,
You’re welcome; otherwise my doors are barred you.
Roughman.
That’s my good girl.
I have fortunes laid up for thee: what I have,
Command it as thine own. Go to; be wise.
Bess.
Well, I shall study for’t.
Roughman.
Consider on’t. Farewell.
[_Exeunt_ Roughman _and_ Fawcett.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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