Christian fiction; Wingfold, Thomas (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
On the Sunday the curate walked across the churchyard to the morning
prayer very much as if the bells, instead of ringing the people to
church, had been tolling for his execution. But if he was going to be
hanged, he would at least die like a gentleman, confessing his sin. Only
he would it were bed-time, and all well. He trembled so when he stood up
to read that he could not tell whether or not he was speaking in a voice
audible to the congregation. But as his hour drew near, the courage
to meet it drew near also, and when at length he ascended the pulpit
stairs, he was able to cast a glance across the sea of heads to learn
whether the little man was in the poor seats. But he looked for the big
head in vain.
When he read his text, it was to a congregation as listless and
indifferent as it was wont to be. He had not gone far, however, before
that change of mental condition was visible in the faces before him,
which a troop of horses would have shown by a general forward swivelling
of the ears. Wonderful to tell, they were actually listening. But in
truth it was no wonder, for seldom in any, and assuredly never in that
church, had there been heard such an exordium to a sermon.
His text was--“Confessing your faults one to another.” Having read it
with a return of the former trembling, and paused, his brain suddenly
seemed for a moment to reel under a wave of extinction that struck
it, then to float away upon it, and then to dissolve in it, as it
interpenetrated its whole mass, annihilating thought and utterance
together. But with a mighty effort of the will, in which he seemed to
come as near as man could come to the willing of his own existence, he
recovered himself and went on. To do justice to this effort, my reader
must remember that he was a shy man, and that he knew his congregation
but too well for an unsympathetic one--whether from their fault or his
own mattered little for the nonce. It had been hard enough to make up
his mind to the attempt when alone in his study, or rather, to tell the
truth, in his chamber, but to carry out his resolve in the face of
so many faces, and in spite of a cowardly brain, was an effort and a
victory indeed. Yet after all, upon second thoughts, I see that the
true resolve was the victory, sweeping shyness and every other opposing
weakness along with it. But it wanted courage of yet another sort to
make of his resolve a fact, and his courage, in that kind as well, had
never yet been put to the test or trained by trial. He had not been a
fighting boy at school; he had never had the chance of riding to hounds;
he had never been in a shipwreck, or a house on fire; had never been
waked from a sound sleep with a demand for his watch and money; yet one
who had passed creditably through all these trials, might still have
carried a doubting conscience to his grave rather than face what
Wingfold now confronted.
From the manuscript before him he read thus:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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