Three Men and a MaidWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
Three Men and a Maid
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories
"It wasn't that so much," said Sam. "The thing that annoyed father was
that he tried to shoot Miss Milliken."
Billie uttered a cry of horror!
"He tried to shoot Miss Milliken!"
"He did shoot her--the third time," said Sam warming to his work. "Only
in the arm, fortunately," he added. "But my father is rather a stern
disciplinarian and he had to go. I mean, we couldn't keep him after
that."
"Good gracious!"
"She used to be my father's stenographer, and she was thrown a good
deal with Peters. It was quite natural that he should fall in love with
her. She was a beautiful girl, with rather your own shade of hair.
Peters is a man of volcanic passions, and, when, after she had given
him to understand that his love was returned, she informed him one day
that she was engaged to a fellow at Ealing West, he went right off his
onion--I mean, he became completely distraught. I must say that he
concealed it very effectively at first. We had no inkling of his
condition till he came in with the pistol. And, after that ... well, as I
say, we had to dismiss him. A great pity, for he was a good clerk.
Still, it wouldn't do. It wasn't only that he tried to shoot Miss
Milliken. That wouldn't have mattered so much, as she left after he had
made his third attempt, and got married. But the thing became an
obsession with him, and we found that he had a fixed idea that every
red-haired woman who came into the office was the girl who had deceived
him. You can see how awkward that made it. Red hair is so fashionable
nowadays."
"My hair is red!" whispered Billie pallidly.
"Yes, I noticed it myself. I told you it was much the same shade as
Miss Milliken's. It's rather fortunate that I happened to be here with
you when he came."
"But he may be lurking out there still!"
"I expect he is," said Sam carelessly. "Yes, I suppose he is. Would you
like me to go and send him away? All right."
"But--but is it safe?"
Sam uttered a light laugh.
"I don't mind taking a risk or two for your sake," he said, and
sauntered from the room, closing the door behind him. Billie followed
him with worshipping eyes.
Jno. Peters rose politely from the chair in which he had seated himself
for more comfortable perusal of the copy of _Home Whispers_ which
he had brought with him to refresh his mind in the event of the firm being
too busy to see him immediately. He was particularly interested in the
series of chats with Young Mothers.
"Hullo, Peters," said Sam. "Want anything?"
"Very sorry to have disturbed you, Mr. Samuel. I just looked in to say
good-bye. I sail on Saturday, and my time will be pretty fully taken up
all the week. I have to go down to the country to get some final
instructions from the client whose important papers I am taking over.
I'm sorry to have missed your father, Mr. Samuel."
"Yes, this is his golf day, I'll tell him you looked in."
"Is there anything I can do before I go?"
"Do?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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