DOMINIC. Joseph tells me there must have been some misunderstanding
about it, sir. A little carelessness on the part of somebody, I
imagine, sir.
LATIMER. Dear me! Didn’t it come with him?
DOMINIC. I’m afraid not, sir.
LATIMER. Tut, tut, how careless of somebody! Thank you, Dominic.
DOMINIC. Thank you, sir.
[_He goes out._
LATIMER. Lost your luggage. How excessively annoying! (_Anxiously_) My
dear Leonard, what is it?
LEONARD (_whose face has been shaping for it for some seconds_)
A-tish-oo!
LATIMER. At any rate I can find you a handkerchief. (_He does so.
LEONARD takes it just in time, and sneezes violently again._)
LEONARD. Thank you.
LATIMER. Not at all. That’s a very nasty cold you’ve got. How wise of
you to have kept on a dressing-gown.
LEONARD. The only thing I had to put on.
LATIMER. But surely you were travelling in a suit yesterday? I seem to
remember a brown suit.
LEONARD. That fool of a man of yours——
LATIMER (_distressed_). You don’t mean to tell me——(_DOMINIC comes
in._) Dominic, what’s this about his lordship’s brown suit?
DOMINIC. Owing to a regrettable misunderstanding, sir, his lordship’s
luggage——
LATIMER. Yes, but I’m not talking about his twenty-five other suits, I
mean the nice brown suit that he was wearing yesterday. It must be
somewhere. I remember noticing it. I remember—— (_He holds up his
hand_) Just a moment, Dominic——
LEONARD. A-tish-oo!
LATIMER. I remember saying to myself, “What a nice brown suit Leonard
is wearing.” Well, where is it, Dominic?
DOMINIC. Yes, sir. I seem to remember the suit to which you are
referring. I regret to say that Joseph had an unfortunate accident
with it.
LEONARD (_growling_). Damned carelessness.
DOMINIC. Joseph was bringing back the clothes after brushing them,
sir, and happened to have them in his arms while bending over the bath
in order to test the temperature of the water for his lordship. A
little surprised by the unexpected heat of the water, Joseph
relinquished the clothes for a moment, and precipitated them into the
bath.
LATIMER. Dear me, how extremely careless of Joseph!
DOMINIC. Yes, sir, I have already reprimanded him.
LEONARD. The fellow ought to be shot.
LATIMER. You’re quite right, Leonard. Dominic, shoot Joseph this
morning.
DOMINIC. Yes, sir.
LATIMER. And see that his lordship’s suit is dried as soon as
possible.
DOMINIC. Yes, sir. It is being dried now, sir.
LATIMER. But it must be dried thoroughly, Dominic. His lordship has a
nasty cold, and——
LEONARD. A-tish-oo!
LATIMER. A very nasty one. I’m afraid you are subject to colds,
Leonard?
LEONARD. The first one I’ve ever had in my life.
LATIMER. Do you hear that, Dominic? The first one he’s ever had in his
life.
DOMINIC. Yes, sir. If you remember, sir, Mr. Nicholas, and one or two
other gentlemen who have slept there, caught a very nasty cold. Almost
looks as if there must be something the matter with the room.
LEONARD. Damned draughtiest room——
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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