Through Night to Light: A NovelSpielhagen, Friedrich
General
Through Night to Light: A Novel
Spielhagen, Friedrich
Fiction
were not after all a great deal of truth in Voltaire's assertion, that
life was nothing but a _mauvaise plaisanterie_.
"And yet it was good for me to pass through this trial also. It was a
bitter medicine; but it cured me thoroughly of that disease which
others call joy of existence and pleasure in life.
"Leonora's humility in bearing her sufferings put me altogether to
shame. In proportion as the disease was destroying her bodily form, the
original beauty of her soul began to reappear. She had led a sinful
life; when she died, she died like a saint.
"It was late in the evening. I had carried the poor sufferer, who was
specially excited on that day, and anxiously yearned after air and
light, in my own arms from the fisherman's cottage which we occupied,
to the edge of the black basaltic rocks which here hang over the sea.
She was resting on a couch formed of cushions. The sun was setting in
resplendent magnificence, and just sinking into the sea. Not a breath
stirred the smooth surface of the waters, and the emerald and golden
lights which shone in the sky were purely and calmly reflected below,
as in a mirror. Upon the pale face of the patient also fell an
enchanting sheen--a rosy lie--the lie with which the sun and life scoff
at the night and at death. And in that hour Leonora took leave of the
sun and of life. She told me that she had always loved me, even at that
moment when vanity and folly had blinded her; that her whole life since
that day had been but a continuous effort to drown her remorse. She did
not desire to live, even if it were possible that I should ever love
her again. She felt herself to be unworthy of being my slave, much more
so of being my wife. She was shuddering at the mere thought. 'Oh never,
never more,' she continued, and her beautiful eyes shone with a
supernatural fire, 'never upon this earth, where I have so tearfully
sinned against you. But when this desecrated body has crumbled into
dust, and the soul has been freed from the fetters that bound it to the
dust, then I will hover around you, I will wait for you; and when you
come, your soul will kiss my soul, and by that kiss I shall know that
all has been atoned for, that all is forgotten and forgiven.'
"I told her that I had long since forgiven her fully, and that I now
loved her with a purer and holier love than in the days of our
happiness.
"I kissed, weeping, her white hands and her pale lips.
"'This is our wedding-day,' she whispered--'poor, poor man.' She sank
back upon the cushions.
"I carried her, quite exhausted, back to the cottage and to her bed.
"It was the last time.
"That night Leonora died."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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