Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancerIsaacson, Lauren Ann
Science
Through These Eyes: The courageous struggle to find meaning in a life stressed with cancer
Isaacson, Lauren Ann
Cancer -- Patients -- Biography; Isaacson, Lauren Ann, 1961-1986
Still quite early in the afternoon, we concluded that it would be nice
to find a park which was in the area, and had no difficulty in its
pursuit, for the road signs were plentiful and doubtlessly placed out
of respect for the patient-tourist. It was a gorgeous day. The leaves
were emerald green and at their foremost beauty; strong and pliant from
spring's ample rain, and not yet touched by the autumnal sun...the
drying kiln, the blistering gaze which ages all.
The leaves swayed in the wind, playing with the rays of sunlight which
danced in countless patterns on the ground. Despite the beauty
surrounding our every step, none of us could forget the reason we came
to the park; we came, of course, to forget. The business of
forgetting, however, meets with few actual successes; the more one
attempts to forget, the less likely he is to accomplish his goal; but
in trying the object of one's trial forever torments the mind. It is
better to let the job of "forgetting" take care of itself.
That evening, following our meal, we decided a movie would create an
exciting climax to the day, especially since our hotel room boasted no
TV. The movie-house featured "Jaws" and I eagerly bounced down the
aisle and selected a seat fairly close to the screen. My parents found
two more agreeable seats toward the rear.
As the theater began to fill, I glanced about nervously, hoping wildly
that no one with a spherical or bee-hive-shaped hair style would seat
themselves directly before me. With good fortune on my side, I
breathed a sigh of relief as the lights were dimmed and the curtain
slid aside.
I had landed an excellent seat; the story drew me in, as my senses were
unimpaired, and I slowly left Rochester, and hospitals behind to
immerse myself in the image captured through my eyes. The movie was
horrifying; the people in the audience screamed and jumped in unison.
As the actors pursued the vicious shark, and more unsuspecting
individuals fell prey to the maniacal monster, one began to feel
helplessly self-protective, as if caught unaware, one might be torn
limb from limb. Then, in a brutally raging climax, the shark was
overthrown, and a tumultuous sigh escaped from the lips of on-lookers;
everyone was safe at last.
When I rose from my seat to file out of the building, reality slapped
my face. I was not in Moline, I was in Rochester. Tomorrow night I
would admit myself into the hospital, and Monday would be inescapable;
by Tuesday I would sleep beneath the surgeon's blade and awake to the
answers of unfulfilled questions. Yet I was pleased that, for two long
hours, I had, without prompting, laid my worries aside; forgetting was
a business best left unto itself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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