Now it was dusk: dusk that takes away the sins of the world. Under that
soft cone of shadow, wagged like a dunce cap among the stars, are folly
and glamour and despair; but no sin. The day was going back to the pure
darkness where all things began; to the nothing from which it had come;
to the unconsciousness that had surrounded it. The long, long day had
orbed itself to a whole. Its plot and scheme were perfect; its crises
and suspenses artfully ordered; now darkness framed it and memory gave
it grace. Tented over by upward and downward light, mocked by tinsel
colours and impossible desires, another cunning microcosm was complete.
“I like your orchestra,” said Joyce. They were all sitting on the
veranda steps. From the garden and the dunes beyond came the rattling
tremolo of summer insect choirs.
No one spoke for a moment. Phyllis was enjoying a relaxation after
the effort of the dinner table. It was no longer necessary to think,
every instant, of something to say. Darkness takes the place of
conversation. It replies to everything. Like fluid privacy the shadow
rose and flowed restfully about them; faces were exempt from scrutiny;
eyes, those timid escapers from question, could look abroad at ease.
Reprieved from angers and anxieties, the mind yearned to come home
under the roof of its little safe identity. It had not forgotten the
distractions that make life hard: quarrels, the income tax, unanswered
letters, toothache: but these hung for a moment, merely a pretty
sparkle of fireflies. I feel as though I were really Me, Phyllis
thought. I wish there were someone to hold my hand.
I wonder if I _do_ like it? Joyce thought as soon as she heard her own
voice.
Come home, come home to yourself, cried the incessant voice of
darkness. The soulless musicians of earth fiddled with horrid ironic
gusto. Nothing is true but desire, they wailed and wheedled. Now they
were fierce piccolo and pibroch; now they had the itinerant rhythm of
bawdy limericks.
Special intensity of silence seemed to emanate from Ben and Ruth, who
sat close together on the top step. In the general pause theirs was
like a hard core: it was not true silence but only repressed speech.
The smell of Ben’s cigar floated among the group like an argument.
It had a sensible, civilized, matter-of-fact, downtown fragrance. It
seemed to suggest that someone--even the crickets, perhaps--should put
down a proposition in black and white. Joyce had a feeling that Ben and
Ruth were waiting for any one to say anything; and that when it was
said they would jointly subject it to careful businesslike scrutiny.
Contents noted, and in reply would say----
“Orchestra?” repeated Ben, in a puzzled voice.
“The crickets.” (She tried not to make it sound like an explanation.)
“I’d forgotten that nights on the Island were like this.”
Martin was sitting just below her. He had been playing with the pebbles
on the path, picking them up and dropping them. He turned and looked up
at her.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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