He had her in his arms. On her soft lips was all the bittersweet of
their long separation, of their mirth together, of their absurd and
precious passion, denied by men and ratified by crickets. It was the
perfect embrace of those who are no longer children, who can sweeten
the impossible by mocking it a little. The tingling triumph of social
farce, undreamed by poor candid Nature--the first illicit kiss!
“I suppose,” she said tremulously, “that this really is what they call
a Guilty Passion.”
“My dear, my dear. What a queer world, where one has to apologize for
loving people.”
As though down a long avenue of distance he saw her in the perspective
of her life: an exquisite gallant figure going about her brave
concerns: so small and resolute in her single struggle with the world,
and coming to his arms at last. He knew then that poets have not lied;
that fairy tales are true; that life is hunger, and for every emptiness
caters its own just food. Her mind that he had loved was tangled up
with a body. Chastity was probably a much overrated virtue. For her
sake, if she desired it, he was willing to make the heroic effort which
is necessary to yield to temptation.
He held her close, in silence. Austere resolutions slipped away like
sand in an hour glass. For an instant his only thought was a silly
satisfaction that she must reach so far upward to meet his lips. His
mind taunted him for thinking this.
“Dear fool, dear damned fool,” he said. “Yes, you’re just as you should
be: lips cool and eyelids warm. And as soft as I always imagined. Oh,
it’s not fair that any one should be so soft. Joyce, do you know why I
had to have you here? It’s just a year ... you remember?”
“Yes. The day you were looking out of the window. How long it seems.”
“We begin to feel like a nice old unmarried couple.”
She laughed, her rare broken laugh.
“Oh, George, then it _is_ really you. The Fourth you, I mean. I
couldn’t quite believe it.”
Voices came down from the loft. First it was Martin:
... “That’s what I like about her. She looks as if she’s happy inside.”
Then Ruth, with a scornful snicker:
“Happy? I dare say. Did you see the way she looked at George at the
dinner table? That kind of woman’s always happy with someone else’s
husband.”
There was an inaudible murmur, then Ben’s voice:
“It’s a form of nervousness.”
Joyce drew back from his arms. Her eyes were dark with horror.
“Oh ...” she said with a sob. “Why are people so ... so _inadequate_.”
Ruth’s little sneer, falling on them like a crystal spirt of poison,
burned George’s bare heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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