Most assuredly Roquairol had miscalculated upon him, and set out his
poetic self-condemnation too much on the reckoned strength of a poetic
sentence from the judge. As in an uproar one unconsciously speaks
louder, so he, when fancy with her cataracts thundered around him, did
not justly know what he cried and how strongly. As he often, to be
sure, found less that was black in himself than he depicted, so he
presumed that another must find even still less than he himself. He
had, too, in his poetic and sinful intoxication, made for himself at
last the moral dial-plate itself movable, so that it went with the
index; in this confusion it was never indicated to him where innocence
was.
Had he foreseen that his epistolary confessions would bound and rebound
in more hostile corners than his oral ones did aforetime, he would have
prepared them otherwise.
For agitation Albano could not directly write the short
parting-letter--not a challenge--to the abandoned one, but delayed, in
the certainty that the Captain would not come himself,--when all at
once he came. For procrastination he could not bear; bodily and
spiritual wounds he received as theatrical ones; too much accustomed to
win men, he too easily brought himself to lose men. A terrible
apparition for Albano; it was but the long coffin of his murdered
favorite set upright!--that now over that powerfully-angular face, once
the stronghold of their souls, furrows of weeds should wind, that this
mouth, which friendship had so often laid upon his, should have become
a plague-cancer, a concealing rose to the tongue-scorpion for the good
Rabette when she approached so trustingly,--to see and think of _that_
was clear anguish.
Hardly audible were greeting and thanks; silently they walked up and
down, not beside but against each other. Albano sought to get the
mastery over his wrath, so as to say nothing but the words: "Begone
from me, and let me forget thee!" He meant to spare Liana in her
brother, who had reproached him with being sacrificial-knife to her;
unjust suspicions keep us better in the time immediately following,
because we are not willing to let them grow into just ones. "I am
candid, thou seest," Roquairol began, with moderation, because his
ebullitions had been half distilled and dropped away from the point
of his pen; "be thou so, too, and answer the letter." "I was thy
friend,--now, no more," said Albano, choking. "I have not surely done
anything to _thee_," was the reply.
"Heavens! Let me not say much," said Albano. "My miserable sister,--my
innocence of the coming of the Countess,-my wretched, abandoned sister!
O God! drive me not to frenzy,--I respect thee no more, and so go!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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