"I don't know exactly why I'm here," he said; "I got this thing wished on me and you've got me wished on you. I'm sorry for you. So far as I'm concerned I guess I don't deserve any sympathy. I ran right into Scoutmaster Ellsworth with my eyes wide open [laughter] and he nabbed me. I should have kept my fingers crossed when I came back to Bridgeboro. He took me to his house and fed me on sugar----" "You're lucky," some one called. "And what could I do after that?" "If I ever get clear of the Boy Scouts, believe me, I'll never get tangled up with them again. [Laughter.] But they tell me I'll see more of them in England and still more of them in France--so I guess there's no hope of getting away from them. [Laughter and applause.] "If this thing keeps up we'll have to start a campaign to swat the scout, and see if we can't exterminate them in that way. [Uproarious shouts from Pee-wee.] "But, ladies and gentlemen and scouts--not that scouts aren't gentlemen [laughter]--I don't think soldiers ought to be expected to make speeches. Actions speak louder than words, as the Kaiser will find out---- [Pee-wee was restrained with difficulty.] So I'm just going to _do_ something instead of standing here talking. Scoutmaster Ellsworth said for me to put plenty of pep into my little performance. And I'm going to put some tabasco sauce in it [Pee-wee again] and I hope it will hold him for a while. "He introduced me as an enlisted soldier. Two thousand eight hundred and fifty-seven times in the last two days, he's called me that. It's a base libel! I didn't enlist; I was drafted. [Laughter.] "And now I'm going to let you into a secret. Before Registration Day I felt pretty much as I felt about coming here to-night--I had cold feet. I have only the one thought now," he added, speaking more earnestly, "and that is to get over there and get one good whack at that crew of bandits and murderers! [Loud cheering.] "But before Registration Day I was scared--just plain _scared_. You soon get rid of that when you get into the uniform. [Applause.] Well, I'm ashamed to say it, but I ran away. I had a crazy notion I could get away with it. I went up to a lonely place on a mountain near that big scout camp." You could have heard a pin drop in the hall now. "And one of these fellows--these scouts--suspected where I had gone and came up there after me and brought me to my senses." Roscoe's voice had grown gradually lower, and he spoke hesitatingly now, but the silence was so intense that every word was audible. "He pawned a gold medal he had to pay his way up there and he made me come back here. He missed his part in the big rally. He couldn't come back himself because he'd hurt his ankle.--He made me come back here where I belonged--to register! "And then when he found---- No, wait a minute, I'll read you the letter!"