“There he is, gents,” said the auctioneer; “there he is! a splendid
beast! Look at him, and judge for yourselves. There’s an ear, a forearm,
a nostril, an eye for you! That animal, gentlemen, was ‘knocked down’ to
a gentleman under the hammer, less than three months ago, for two
hundred and eighty dollars. But I am authorized to-day to sell that
horse—let him bring more or less. He’s a beauty; fine figure, splendid
saddle-beast, natural gait fourteen miles to the hour, trots a mile in
2′ 42″; and altogether he’s a great horse,” which last remark no one
could doubt, for he weighed eleven hundred pounds. “How much am I
offered for that beautiful beast?” continued the auctioneer. “Move him
round the ring once, John. That’s it; elegant motion.”
There the horse stopped short, and refused to budge an inch, though John
buried the rowels to the shoulder in his ribs.
“Give me a bid, gentlemen, if you please. The horse must be sold.”
“Twenty dollars,” was heard from one corner of the room.
“_Twenty dollars!_” screamed the auctioneer, with a seemingly ironical
laugh. “I’m offered the stupendous sum of twenty dollars, gentlemen, for
that horse. Are there no sausage-makers in this congregation? I’m
offered only twenty dollars! But, as I said before, the horse is here to
be sold, so I shall accept the bid. Twenty dollars. I’m offered twenty
dollars—twenty—twenty—give me thirty? Twenty dollars—twenty—did I
hear thirty? Twenty dollars—give _five_? Twenty dollars—say _one_?
Shall I have twenty-one? If that’s the best bid, down he must go,
gentlemen! Twenty dollars! going! Twenty, only. Who’s the fortunate
buyer?”
“Sellum, John Sellum,” said our friend.
“John Sellum, twenty dollars,” says the auctioneer; “you’ve got a horse
as is a horse, Mr. Sellum.”
And the fortunate John bore his magnificent charger away in triumph. A
few days subsequently, an old acquaintance met John in the cars, and
inquired about his purchase.
“Got that horse yet, John?”
“No, I sold him.”
“So soon—what for?”
“Wal, nothin’ in particular; but I didn’t fancy the critter, all things
considered.”
“He was sound; wasn’t he?”
“Wall, I reckon he wasn’t; that is to say, I cal-k’late he wasn’t.
Show’d very good pluck, till I got him down into Washington Street,
after I left the baz-a-r, but just opposite the Old South, he fell slap
down on the pavement.”
“Pshaw! you don’t say so!”
“Yaas. Blindstaggers—wust kind. But I didn’t mind that, so I took him
home, and nussed him up a little. Put him in the gig next day; wouldn’t
start a peg! Coax’d him, draw’d him, run a hot wire in his ear, wollup’d
him, and so forth; and finally, I built a fire under him. All no use;
cunning cuss, sot rite down on the pile o’ lighted shavins, and put it
out.”
Here his friend smiled.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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