Detective and mystery stories; Trent, Philip (Fictitious character) -- Fiction
“Mr. Trent,” she said, “you inspire confidence in people, and I feel
that things which I don’t want known or talked about are safe with you.
And I know you must have a very serious reason for doing what you are
doing, though I don’t know what it is. I suppose it would be assisting
justice in some way if I told you the truth about what you asked just
now. To understand that truth you ought to know about what went
before—I mean about my marriage. After all, a good many people could
tell you as well as I can that it was not... a very successful union. I
was only twenty. I admired his force and courage and certainty; he was
the only strong man I had ever known. But it did not take me long to
find out that he cared for his business more than for me, and I think I
found out even sooner that I had been deceiving myself and blinding
myself, promising myself impossible things and wilfully
misunderstanding my own feelings, because I was dazzled by the idea of
having more money to spend than an English girl ever dreams of. I have
been despising myself for that for five years. My husband’s feeling for
me... well, I cannot speak of that... what I want to say is that along
with it there had always been a belief of his that I was the sort of
woman to take a great place in society, and that I should throw myself
into it with enjoyment, and become a sort of personage and do him great
credit—that was his idea; and the idea remained with him after other
delusions had gone. I was a part of his ambition. That was his really
bitter disappointment, that I failed him as a social success. I think
he was too shrewd not to have known in his heart that such a man as he
was, twenty years older than I, with great business responsibilities
that filled every hour of his life, and caring for nothing else—he must
have felt that there was a risk of great unhappiness in marrying the
sort of girl I was, brought up to music and books and unpractical
ideas, always enjoying myself in my own way. But he had really reckoned
on me as a wife who would do the honours of his position in the world;
and I found I couldn’t.”
Mrs. Manderson had talked herself into a more emotional mood than she
had yet shown to Trent. Her words flowed freely, and her voice had
begun to ring and give play to a natural expressiveness that must
hitherto have been dulled, he thought, by the shock and self-restraint
of the past few days. Now she turned swiftly from the window and faced
him as she went on, her beautiful face flushed and animated, her eyes
gleaming, her hands moving in slight emphatic gestures, as she
surrendered herself to the impulse of giving speech to things long pent
up.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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