Trials and Confessions of a HousekeeperArthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
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Trials and Confessions of a Housekeeper
Arthur, T. S. (Timothy Shay)
Home economics -- Fiction; Housekeeping -- Fiction; Housewives -- Fiction
Usually it happens that my good wife works herself half to
death--loses the even balance of her mind--and, in consequence,
makes herself and all around her unhappy. To indulge in an unamiable
temper is by no means a common thing for Mrs. Sunderland, and this
makes its occurrence on these occasions so much the harder to bear.
Our last house-cleaning took place in the fall. I have been going to
write a faithful history of what was said, done, and suffered on the
occasion ever since, and now put my design into execution, even at
the risk of having my head combed with a three-legged stool by my
excellent wife, who, when she sees this in print, will be taken, in
nautical phrase, all aback. But, when a history of our own
shortcomings, mishaps, mistakes, and misadventures will do others
good, I am for giving the history and pocketing the odium, if there
be such a thing as odium attached to revelations of human weakness
and error.
"We must clean house this week," said my good wife one morning as we
sat at the breakfast-table--"every thing is in a dreadful condition.
I can't look at nor touch any thing without feeling my flesh creep."
I turned my eyes, involuntarily, around the room. I was not, before,
aware of the filthy state in which we were living. But not having so
good "an eye for dirt" as Mrs. Sunderland, I was not able, even
after having my attention called to the fact, to see "the dreadful
condition" of things. I said nothing, however, for I never like to
interfere in my wife's department. I assume it as a fact that she
knows her own business better than I do.
Our domestic establishment consisted at this time of a cook, chamber
maid, and waiter. This was an ample force, my wife considered, for
all purposes of house-cleaning, and had so announced to the
individuals concerned some days before she mentioned the matter
incidentally to me. We had experienced, in common with others, our
own troubles with servants, but were now excellently well off in
this respect. Things had gone on for months with scarcely a jar.
This was a pleasant feature in affairs, and one upon which we often
congratulated ourselves.
When I came home at dinner-time, on the day the anticipated
house-cleaning had been mentioned to me, I found my wife with a long
face.
"Are you not well?" I asked.
"I'm well enough," Mrs. Sunderland answered, "but I'm out of all
patience with Ann and Hannah."
"What is the matter with them?" I asked, in surprise.
"They are both going at the end of this week."
"Indeed! How comes that? I thought they were very well satisfied."
"So they were, all along, until the time for house-cleaning
approached. It is too bad!"
"That's it--is it?"
"Yes. And I feel out of all patience about it. It shows such a want
of principle."
"Is John going too?" I asked.
"Dear knows! I expect so. He's been as sulky as he could be all the
morning--in fact, ever since I told him that he must begin taking up
the carpets to-morrow and shake them."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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