The young woman read the announcement with contemptuous interest. She
had expected Silcott to leave the country. It was not to be looked for
that a man weak enough to betray his friends would run the risk of
living in the neighbourhood of those who had suffered from his
treachery. At the two capitalized words she smiled bitterly. They were
both a confession and a shield of defense. They admitted fear, and at
the same time disarmed the righteous anger of his former neighbours.
Ruth conceded the shrewdness of his policy, even while her pluck
despised the spirit that had dictated it.
Inevitably she compared him with Rowan. Her imagination pictured McCoy
as he had sat through the strain of the trial—cool, easy, undisturbed,
master of whatever fate might be in store for him. She saw in contrast
Silcott, no longer graceful and debonair, smiles and gaiety all wiped
out, a harried, irritable wretch close to collapse. It was the first
time she had ever seen two men’s souls under the acid test. One had
assayed pure gold; the other a base alloy.
Why? What was the difference between them? Both had lived clean, hard
lives in the open. Neither of them had spurred their nerves with alcohol
or unduly depressed them with overmuch tobacco. Externally both of them
were fine specimens of the genus man. But in crisis one had crumpled up,
his manhood vanished; the other had quietly stood his punishment. The
distinction between them was that one had character and the other lacked
it.
Yet all these years Silcott had been accepted in the community as a good
fellow. His showy accomplishments, his shallow good looks, and his
veneer of friendliness had won a place for him. Ruth was deeply ashamed
that she had let him go as far with her as he had.
Her thoughts went back to Rowan. They never wandered very long from him
these days. He was the centre of her universe, though he was shut up
behind bars in a dingy prison. She knew she was not responsible for the
thing he had done, but she reproached herself that she had not been a
greater comfort to him in the dark days and nights of trial. She had
thought of herself, of her grievances, too much; not enough of him and
his needs.
No, that was not true. He had been in her mind enough, but she had not
been able to forget the treason to love in which he had involved
himself. It had risen like a barrier between them every time she had
wanted to let him know how much she suffered with him. There was
something about it almost unforgiveable, something that struck at the
very roots of faith and confidence and hope. It negatived everything she
had believed him to be, since it proved that he could not be the man she
had so tremendously admired.
Even now she would not let herself think of it if she could help. She
thrust the memory back into the unused chambers of her mind and tried to
forget.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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