Once, in my younger days, I enclosed a dime in answer to an advertisement which promised to tell applicants how to travel without paying railroad fare. The response I got was, “Walk instead of ride.” This is a fair pattern of many fakes; and to my great amusement, and somewhat to my profit, I tested the calibre of a number of them that winter at a trifling expense. You know the old saying, “A sucker is born every minute.” I did not consider myself a sucker by any means, and yet I did considerable “biting” while I was considering the ways and means of my brethren of the trade. I may say that my own opinion is, the postal authorities of those days were neither so keen nor vigilant as they are now, or these fellows would not have gotten along without more trouble. There were not so many, and before I got through I had traced them out and knew them all. I had also got myself posted on the advertising sheets which had the widest circulation, and the best line of readers. I knew that when an ad. appeared in their pages, if the scheme was a good one and the work artistically done, results were pretty apt to accrue in a short time. What sort of fakes were they? Well, for instance, how does this strike you? In those days the Louisiana Lottery was in full swing, and the fellow who advertised a sure “system” to catch the capital prize must have made a little fortune. The answer that he gave me in return for my dime was: “Hold the winning number.” One of the best ads. I saw was headed, “How to Make Money Fast.” I sent in ten cents. I received a little book containing full particulars of the U. S. mint. “How to make Pantaloons Last” was a catchy heading, and though I suspected the answer I dropped another dime in the slot and obtained the information, “Make the Coat and Vest First.” The last one I tested offered for a dime full instructions on the subject, “How to Get Rich Without Working.” I was told to catch suckers, like they did. That settled it with me. There was nothing to be learned from the gentry of that ilk, and I began to cast about with the view of taking this very sensible advice. I did not propose to rob the people, however, mentally deciding my suckers should get as little hook and as much bait as was possible for the money. I hunted up an intelligent young drug clerk, who had done some medicine reading in his time, and who was not averse to making the expenses of a future course at a medical college by assisting me to carry out what I had in view. From the doctor with whom he had been reading he obtained what was really a first-class prescription for piles, to which, guided by his knowledge, we made certain additions. Then I inserted the following advertisement: “Free.—A Valuable Remedy for Piles. Free. Address ‘Retired Hospital Nurse,’ No. 66 N—– St., New York.”