"Oh, no," said I. "I understand that, landlord, but I'll tell you how it is; you see----" "Don't think I am dunning you, Johnston, don't think that, for I'll hand it right back to you in a day or two," he again assured me. "That's all right," I said, "that's all right. I was going to say, I'd let you have it in a minute, if I had it; but I haven't got it." "Well! how much have you?" He asked in a much-surprised manner. "I'll tell you all about it," I answered. "When we arrived here, nearly six weeks ago, we had about two dollars left, after buying each of us a shirt; and I don't think we have over twenty cents between us, just at present." He gazed at me in silence for a moment, and then said: "What on earth am I going to do?" "Well, indeed, I don't know; but perhaps you can borrow it from some friend of yours; at any rate, it won't do any harm to try." "No, but, I mean what am I going to do about your board bill?" "Oh, I see. Oh, well, landlord, you needn't worry about that. We are well pleased with your accommodations, and haven't the slightest thought of quitting you." "Yes; but the longer you stay the worse I am off," said he. "Well, I can't see how you make that out. The longer we stay the more we will owe you." "Exactly so, and that's where the trouble lies." "Well, the more we owe you the more you will have coming," I suggested; "and I'll just say this: That we have been traveling over a large scope of country, and yours is one of the best hotels we have ever stopped at; and I'll give you my word as a gentleman that we'll never leave till our bill is settled." "But, ---- it!" He ejaculated. "I tell you the longer you stay the worse I am off, and the harder it will be to settle." "But," said I, "you don't understand the nature of our business. If you did you would know that it would be as easy for us to pay a large bill as a small one." I then added: "Rest assured, landlord, that until this bill is paid in full--one hundred cents on the dollar--you can always count on two Star boarders." We then stared at each other for about two minutes, when he began to laugh, and said: "Well, you're a dandy! Come and take a drink." "No, thank you; I never drink." "Take a cigar, then." "I never smoke, landlord." "Well, what on earth do you do? I'd like to show my appreciation of the style of man you are, by treating or doing something to please you." "Then I'll tell you what you can do, landlord; while you are out borrowing the twenty-five dollars, suppose you make it about forty, and let us have the fifteen to settle up our wash bill, and pay a little bill we owe across the road." And to show him the necessity of helping us out, I plainly told him the facts about how we had been getting our laundry, and our experience of the previous day. He laughed till he fell on the floor; and then took me to his wife's apartments and asked me to relate the circumstances to her two lady friends.