“Oh, yes, mammy, I remember; and why has he done us this honour?” “Be quiet; that’s not your business. Now, you are to invite him, with all the amiability you can, to come down to our house in the country, at once! That is what I am taking you up for. And if you dare so much as breathe another word of any kind, either to-day or to-morrow, or next day, without leave from me, you shall herd geese for a whole year. You’re not to say a single word, mind! and that’s all you have to think of. Do you understand, now?” “Well, but if I’m asked anything?” “Hold your tongue all the same!” “Oh, but I can’t do that—I can’t do——” “Very well, then; you can say ‘H’m,’ or something of that sort, to give them the idea that you are very wise indeed, and like to think well before answering.” “H’m.” “Understand me, now. I am taking you up because you are to make it appear that you have just heard of the prince’s visit, and have hastened up to town in a transport of joy to express your unbounded respect and gratitude to him, and to invite him at once to your country house! Do you understand me?” “H’m.” “I don’t want you to say ‘H’m’ _now_, you fool! You must answer _me_ when I speak!” “All right—all right, mammy. All shall be as you wish; but why am I to ask the prince down?” “What—what! arguing again. What business is it of yours _why_ you are to invite him? How dare you ask questions!” “Why it’s all the same thing, mammy. How am I to invite him if I must not say a word?” “Oh, I shall do all the talking. All you have to do is to bow. Do you hear? _Bow_; and hold your hat in your hand and look polite. Do you understand, or not?” “I understand, mam—Maria-Alexandrovna.” “The prince is very witty, indeed; so mind, if he says anything either to yourself or anyone else, you are to laugh cordially and merrily. Do you hear me?” “H’m.” “Don’t say ‘H’m’ to _me_, I tell you. You are to answer me plainly and simply. Do you hear me, or not?” “Yes, yes; I hear you, of course. That’s all right. I only say ‘H’m,’ for practice; I want to get into the way of saying it. But look here, mammy, it’s all very well; you say I’m not to speak, and if he speaks to me I’m to look at him and laugh—but what if he asks me a question?” “Oh—you dense log of a man! I tell you again, you are to be quiet. _I’ll_ answer for you. You have simply got to look polite, and smile!” “But he’ll think I am dumb!” said Afanassy. “Well, and what if he does. Let him! You’ll conceal the fact that you are a fool, anyhow!” “H’m, and if _other_ people ask me questions?” “No one will; there’ll be no one to ask you. But if there _should_ be anyone else in the room, and they ask you questions, all you have to do is to smile sarcastically. Do you know what a sarcastic smile is?” “What, a witty sort of smile, is it, mammy?” “I’ll let you know about it! _Witty_, indeed! Why, who would think of expecting anything witty from a fool like you. No, sir, a jesting smile—_jesting_ and _contemptuous_!”