By nature headlong, when Greek Conniston went into a thing he was in
the habit of going deep into it. When he drove a new car he drove it
night and day and at top speed. When he spent money he spent lavishly,
generously, recklessly. When he wasted time he wasted it profligately.
And now that he abandoned an old position he did it as thoroughly as
he had dissipated his father's money. He was plunging from what had so
long seemed to him a great height. Plunging; not cautiously lowering
himself inch by inch down a dizzy precipice of self-respect, not
looking the while for the first ledge upon which he might rest;
plunging headlong from the zenith of self-conceit to the nadir of
self-contempt. And the depths into which he hurled himself seemed to
him very deep, very black.
He ignored considerations by the way. That he had been handicapped in
the race did not suggest itself to him to comfort him. He merely saw
that the race was on and that he was far in the rear, choked with the
dust of the going. He saw, and saw clearly, that of all the men who
took their dollar a day from John Crawford he, Greek Conniston, did
the least to earn his. That he was not only not the best man on the
range, but that he was the poorest man. He was just his father's son.
_A man's son, not a man!_
He had not eaten supper, had forgotten that he had not eaten. Long he
sat in the thickening night, alone, feeling the part of a man marooned
by his dawning understanding upon a desert island, vast, impassable,
restless seas between him and his race. He watched the stars come out
until they were thick set in the black vault above him, flung in
sprays, flashing and scintillating down to the low horizons about him.
His brooding eyes ran out across the floor of the plain toward
Rattlesnake Valley.
He remembered that he had promised to call to see Argyl to-morrow
night, to tell her then what he had decided. What was he going to
decide? The obvious thing was not clear to him yet. He would work over
it half the night. Out of the confusion into which he had been hurled
two things alone stood out to him now as he tried to review them; two
things gathered the light which abandoned all other considerations to
darkness. The first thing, the clearest thing, the most important
thing in all of the new world which was being built up about him was
that he loved Argyl Crawford.
Loved her, not as Greek Conniston would have loved yesterday, could
have loved then, but with the love which was a part of the Greek
Conniston who was being born to-night. Loved her, not with the shallow
affection which would have been the tribute of a Greek Conniston of
yesterday, but with that deeper, eternal urge of soul to soul which is
true love. Loved her gravely, almost sternly, as a strong man loves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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