'You know,' thought Nevill, 'I was naturally made for a domestic man.
I often feel as if I were really designed by Nature to wheel a
perambulator, and go to market on wet days. True, I haven't been much
of a stay-at-home. But then I was born at sea, while the vessel was in
an all-plain-sail breeze, and it may be the initial motion I inherited
from the ship at my birth has not yet been quite exhausted. However, I
feel as if it was gradually dying out. Once having set the planets
spinning round the sun, there is no reason why they should ever
stop spinning. Once having set me sailing over the water in an
all-plain-sail breeze, there are reasons why I should stop some time.
First, I am not by any means a heavenly body. No one could, with
justice, say my appearance is heavenly; and I know what my mind is
like, and I answer myself for that--it is, in fact, a good deal in the
other direction. But, you see, although I am not myself a heavenly
body, I may be influenced by heavenly bodies. Now, I should not be at
all surprised if such a heavenly body as Kate Osborne might not have a
very important influence in causing my orbit gradually to contract
until it became purely local, entirely centred by her. Should anyone
say to me: "If you are by nature a domestic man, how is it you never
found it out before? how is it you have not settled down?" I should
reply, "Show me the man who never finds out anything new about
himself, and I'll show you a fool, a monomaniac." To the second
question I should say, "How on earth could a fellow like me, without a
relative in the world, become domestic, unless he married? and how on
earth could a fellow like me marry until he had found someone who
would marry him, and whom he would marry?"
'I am sure I should make an excellent husband, for I know nothing
whatever about household affairs. I don't know what milk is a-gallon,
or blacking a-pound, or coals a-ton, or jam a-pot. I have been brought
up on a bill of fare. I am the embodiment of a _table-d'hôte_. I have
seen beef roasted on the prairie, but the whole carcase had been
purchased for a bullet and a charge of powder--say a penny. I know
such rates do not rule the London market. I heard them say the other
day, at dinner, beef was a shilling a-pound; but how much a pound is,
I haven't the ghost of an idea. Considering me as a domestic man,
there's another good trait in my character; I don't know weights--I
mean domestic weights--'
'Nevill, shall we have a cab?' asked Osborne, breaking in upon his
musings.
'Of course, of course. What a stupid being I am! I was running astray,
Osborne, a rare thing for me. Of course, call a cab. I haven't the
ghost of an idea where this place is. No doubt we have turned our back
on it, and are walking away from it. I don't often ruminate. The
chances are, if I did, I should some day soon walk under the legs of
omnibus horses, or be killed by a coster's barrow.'
'Where to, sir?' asked the cabby through the trap.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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