American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“I could hardly have talked to her about anything but her plight. It was
a week or two before I talked to her at all; but, in the end, I found
that if I wanted to continue to come to the villa, I should have to
brave that presence on the parapet--domesticate myself in that pervasive
and most logical gloom. So I did. She was a positive creature; there
wasn’t the faintest hint of apology or deprecation in her manner. She
would see you on business, and only on business--the business being her
tragedy. Don’t misunderstand--” (Chalmers frowned a little as he looked
at me.) “She was neither lachrymose nor hard; she was just infinitely
and quite decently preoccupied with her one desire and her helplessness
to achieve it. She didn’t magnify herself. It isn’t magnifying yourself
to want a proper funeral for the person you love, is it? She was even
grateful for sympathy, though she didn’t want a stream of words poured
out over her. She--she was an awfully good sort.”
Chalmers dug his cigarette-end almost viciously into the tray, and
watched the smoke go out. We both watched the smoke go out....
“Before long, we had talked together a good deal, especially during the
hour before dinner, when the sun and the sea were so miraculous that
any other miracle seemed possible. Such easy waters to cross, they
looked, in the sunset light! You forgot the blistering leagues beyond;
you forgot that it took money and men and courage and endurance, and all
kinds of things that are hard to come by, to get to the goal she was
straining for. I suppose it wouldn’t be honest to say that she ever
passed her personal fervor on to me--I couldn’t, in the nature of
things, care so much about recovering that poor chap’s bones as she
did--but I did end by wishing with all my heart that I could help.
Little by little it seemed a romantic thing to do--to go out searching
for the spot where he had died. Of course, getting the bones themselves,
except for extraordinary luck, was all moonshine; but she didn’t see
that, and her blindness affected me. Finally, my _wanderjahr_ began to
shape itself to new horizons. Why shouldn’t I have a try?... I dare say
I posed a little as a paladin, though not, I hope, to her. Anyhow, I
decided to broach it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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