American fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, American
“‘Come with me. I don’t propose that you should go alone.’
“She frowned a little; and in that frown I read all the weariness of the
hours of past talk with Madame C. Presently she looked up at me, very
kindly, a little questioningly, as if for the first time my personality
in itself interested her.
“‘You know that--even for me--that is impossible.’
“I knew what she meant: that she would have been ready for any
abnegation, being, herself, as I have said, negligible; but that the
world must be able to pick no flaw in the rites paid to the shade.
“‘If you will many me, it is not impossible.’
“That is what I said--just like that. I had determined that nothing
should be an obstacle. She didn’t change her posture or her expression
by the fraction of a millimetre. She looked silently past me at the
ilexes as if she had not heard. But she had heard. I think that at that
moment--no, I don’t except all that came after--I touched the highest
point of my romance.... She thought for a moment or two while I waited.
I suppose she was considering what the world would say to that, and
deciding that the world would have no right to say anything; that it
would be, and legitimately so, between her and me. The dead themselves,
of course, can be trusted to understand. It didn’t take her long--you
see she was a girl of one idea, and of one idea only.
“‘Very well, I will marry you.’ The words came as simply from her lips
as any others. We didn’t at that time, or at any time before our
marriage, have any discussion of the extremely--shall I
say?--individual nature of our relation. That was the one thing we
couldn’t have talked of. It would have been--you see?--quite impossible
for either to imply, by approaching the subject, that the other perhaps
didn’t understand. I couldn’t even be so crass as to say: ‘Look here, my
dear girl, of course I quite recognize that you don’t in any sense
belong to me’; or she be so crass as to say in turn: ‘I know it.’ No: I
suppose I have never been so near the summit as I was that evening after
she had ‘accepted’ me, and we had both silently laid our freedom on the
altar of that dead man. Neither of us realized all the inevitable
practical results of such a compact. We simply thought we had thrown the
ultimate sufficing sop to Cerberus, and that all our lives we should
hear him contentedly crunching it. I am quite sure that her mind turned
as blank a face to the future as mine. Quite.”
His voice rang authoritatively across the table. I said nothing. What
could I say? What is the proper greeting when you cross the threshold of
such a habitation? I offered him a silence that was at least
respectful.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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