THE VOLUBLE LADY _in the Shilling Stalls_ (_during the performance of a Thrilling Melodramatic Sketch_). I've nothing to say against her 'usban', a quiet, respectable man, and always treated _me_ as a lady, with grey whiskers--but that's neither here nor there--and I speak of parties as I find them--_well_. _That_ was a Thursday. On the _Saturday_ there came a knock at my door, and I answered it, and there was she saying, as cool as you please----(HEROINE ON STAGE. "Ah, no, no--you would not ruin me? You will not tell my husband?") So I told her. "I'm very sorry," I says, "but I can't lend that frying-pan to nobody." So I got up. Two hours _after_, as I was going down stairs, she come out of her room, and says,--"'Allo, Rose, 'ow _are_ yer?" as if nothing had 'appened. "Oh, jolly," I says, or somethink o' that sort--_I_ wasn't going to take no notice of _her_--and she says, "Going out?"--like that. I says, "Oh, yes; nothing to stay in for," I says, careless-like; so Mrs. Piper, _she_ never said nothing, and _I_ didn't say nothing; and so it went on till Monday--_well_! Her 'usban' met me in the passage; and he said to me--good-tempered and civil enough, I _must_ say--he said----(VILLAIN ON STAGE. "Curse you! I've had enough of this fooling! Give me money, or I'll twist your neck, and fling you into yonder mill-dam, to drown!") So o' course I'd no objection to that; and all she wanted, in the way of eatables and drink, she _'ad_--no, let me finish _my_ story first. Well, just fancy _'er_ now! She asked me to step in; and she says, "Ow are you?" and was very nice, and I never said a word--not wishing to bring up the past, and--I didn't tell you _this_--they'd a kind of old easy chair in the room--and the only remark _I_ made, not meaning anythink, was----(HERO ON STAGE. "You infernal, black-hearted scoundrel! this is _your_ work, is it?") Well, I couldn't ha'put it more pleasant than that, _could_ I? and old Mr. Fitkin, as was settin' on it, he says to me, he says----(HERO. "Courage, my darling! You shall not perish if my strong arms can save you. Heaven help me to rescue the woman I love better than my life!") but he's 'alf silly, so I took no partickler notice of _'im_, when, what did that woman do, after stoopin' to me, as she 'as, times without number--but--Oh, is the play over? Well, as I was saying--oh, _I'm_ ready to go if you are, and I can tell you the rest walking home. [_Exit, having thoroughly enjoyed her evening._ A Recitation Under Difficulties.