SCENE--_The Crystal Palace. The Nave is filled with a dense throng of Pleasure-seekers. Every free seat commanding the most distant view of a Variety Performance on the Great Stage has been occupied an hour in advance. The less punctual stand and enjoy the spectacle of other persons' hats or bonnets. Gangs of Male and Female Promenaders jostle and hustle to their hearts' content, or perform the war-song and dance of the Lower-class 'Arry, which consists in chanting "Oi tiddly-oi-toi; hoi-toi-oi!" to a double shuffle. Tired women sit on chairs and look at nothing. In the Grounds, the fancy of young men and maidens is lightly turning to thoughts of love; the first dawn of the tender passion being intimated, on the part of the youth, by chasing his charmer into a corner and partially throttling her, whereupon the maiden coyly conveys that his sentiments are not unreciprocated by thumping him between the shoulders. From time to time, two champions contend with fists for the smiles of beauty, who may usually be heard bellowing with perfect impartiality in the background. A small but increasing percentage have already had as much liquid refreshment as is good for them, and intend to have more. Altogether, the scene, if festive, might puzzle an Intelligent Foreigner who is more familiar with Continental ideas of enjoyment._ A DAMSEL (_in a ruby plush hat with a mauve feather_). Why, if they yn't got that bloomin' ole statute down from Charin' Cross! What's _'e_ doin' of down 'ere, I wonder? HER SWAIN (_whose feather is only pink and white paper_). Doin' of? Tykin' 'is d'y orf--like the rest of us are tykin' it. THE DAMSEL (_giggling_). You go on--you don't green _me_ that w'y--a statute! SWAIN. Well, 'yn't this what they call a "Statutory" 'Oliday, eh? DAMSEL (_in high appreciation of his humour_). I'll fetch you _sech_ a slap in a minnit! 'Ere, let's gow on the Swissback. Another Damsel (_in a peacock-blue hat with orange pompons_). See that nekked young man on the big 'orse, ALF? It says "Castor" on the stand. 'Oo was _'e_? ALF. Oh, _I_ d' know. I dessay it'll be 'im as invented the Castor Ile. THE DAMSEL (_disgusted_). Fancy their puttin' up a monument to _'im_! SUPERIOR 'ARRY (_talking Musichalls to his Adored One_). 'Ave you 'eard her sing "Come where the Booze is Cheapest?" THE ADORED. Lots o' toimes. I _do_ like _'er_ singing. She mykes sech comical soigns--and then the _things_ she sez! But I've 'eard she's very common in her tork, and that--_orf_ the styge. THE S. A. I shouldn't wonder. Some on 'em _are_ that way. You can't 'ave _everythink_! HIS ADORED. No, it _is_ a pity, though. 'Spose we go out, and pl'y Kiss in the Ring? [_They do._ AMONG THE ETHNOLOGICAL MODELS.