Watch Yourself Go ByField, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
General
Watch Yourself Go By
Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
Circus performers -- United States -- Biography; Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith), 1848-1921; Wit and humor
The women folks of the house were coming, so Alfred ran into the high
grass to hide; while Cousin Charley and Gaskill renewed their search of
the creek for the lost clothes. The house had been searched and nothing
suitable to clothe Alfred could be found. There were no boys in the
family.
There was a whispered consultation and one of the women hastened to the
house. Returning, she handed Gaskill a white linen garment. He walked
towards Alfred, his face distorted, endeavoring to suppress his
laughter.
Gaskill, unrolling the something made of muslin, commanded Alfred to get
into it. As he put one foot through the upheld opening, he caught sight
of Cousin Charley's face and his attempted concealment of laughter. This
so exasperated Alfred that he did not notice the garment he was being
encased in. He upbraided Cousin Charley for his unseemly levity:
"Yes, laugh, you durn big fool! Laugh! You was skeered more than I was.
Dog-gone ye, it was all your fault. If we had drowned you would have
been to blame, then I reckon you'd laughed tuther side of your mouth.
You big fool, you."
By this time Gaskill had the muslin garment fastened on Alfred. The
waistband, which was too wide, Gaskill doubled over and pinned it. The
legs were the same size all the way down, extending only a little below
the knees. The seat seemed to have a surplus similar to the uniform
Lacy Hare had fashioned, although this part of the garment stood off
from his person, not clinging like the heavy material of the military
clothes.
Alfred, surveying himself as they walked towards the house where Mr.
Young had invited them to have a bite of dinner, "after their skeer,"
began to realize that the linen garments he wore were similar to those
that Lin washed last and never hung on the line in the front yard where
the men came in. This discovery did not prevent him laughing at himself.
[Illustration: "I Won't Go Through Town with Them Things On"]
Alfred hesitatingly entered the house. Gaskill and Cousin Charley were
tittering and laughing. Gaskill inquired: "Well, how are you going to
git home?"
Charley replied: "I reckon I'll have to hide him out 'til after dark or
send him on ahead for, by the eternal, I won't go through town with him
with them things on."
Old Mrs. Young, gently leading the abashed boy to the table, spoke words
of assurance, reproving the men for their levity.
The Youngs were of the Dunkard faith, a religious sect numerous in the
vicinity.
On their way home Alfred was the more hilarious of the two. In a spirit
of bravado he declared he intended to walk right down the main street
crowded as it would be on circus day. He further declared his intention
to tell Pap and Mother the whole story--just how it happened.
Alfred seemed to have the better of the bigger and older boy. In fact,
during the past year Alfred had been gradually gaining the mastery of
Cousin Charley insofar as mind was concerned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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