Watch Yourself Go ByField, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
General
Watch Yourself Go By
Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith)
Circus performers -- United States -- Biography; Field, Al. G. (Alfred Griffith), 1848-1921; Wit and humor
"He had stopped to rest. Alfred got out of his sight in some way. He
heard screams from the creek. He saw Alfred floating down the stream on
a log which he had been paddling around in the shallow water. It was but
the work of a moment to disrobe. Plunging into the raging torrent he had
to swim for dear life to overtake the fast floating boy on the log. He
had just managed to land him before the dam was reached. A moment later
and they would both have been carried over the dam to certain
destruction."
The mother was faint with nervousness and sadly shook her head as she
said:
"That boy will be the death of me yet. His disobedience is something I
cannot understand. No wonder his father is out of patience with him."
Lin was watching Charley closely, occasionally casting side glances at
Alfred. She had a gleam in her eyes that made Charley falter more than
once in his narration.
Charley was still in the details when Lin interrupted him with:
"Durn yer pictur', ye nivir take this boy anywhar yer not back with a
cock and bull story. Next ye'll be fightin' Injuns or gypsies to save
Alfurd and it all amounts to Alfurd gittin' whupped an' somethin, fer ye
to laff over."
Here she brandished the rolling pin over Charley, raising herself higher
as the boy shrank from her threatening motions.
"Ef ye ain't lyin' 'bout this, an' I'm hopin' ye air, we ought to be
mighty thankful to ye. But I'm boun' to hev the truth. Set down, or I'll
knock ye down."
"'Al-f-u-r-d,' I want ye to stan' up like a little man. Ye nivir tol' me
a lie 'cept when ye stol' us hungry carryin' vittles to this houn'," as
she pointed to the thoroughly frightened Charley, who whined:
"That's all the thanks I git for risking my life."
"Shet up," Lin almost yelled, "ye'll not tell one word of this to Mr.
Hatfield."
"Stan' up 'Al-f-u-r-d' an' look this helgrimite in the face an' shame
the devil. Didn't he push ye in the creek?"
"No, ma'am," falteringly. "I went in myself."
Charley began to look triumphant.
"Did he pull you out?"
"No, ma'am, Morg Gaskill pulled us both out."
Lin fairly hissed: "I knowed ye was lyin'."
Thus encouraged, Alfred graphically related the adventures of the day,
not omitting any of the details save the dangling of his limbs out of
the milk wagon.
Charley was taken aback and thereafter his credibility was destroyed in
so far as the mother and Lin were concerned. He pouted and endeavored to
deny portions of the younger boy's recital but was met with such
positive assertions from Alfred that he retired entirely discomfited.
Lin's only comment was: "Durn ye; I'd be afeard to put my head in a
circus, much less a church." Lin looked upon one with as much reverence
as the other.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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