Suddenly I heard the silence; suddenly I heard the Musical Tower
silenced, and I understood! It was after seventeen already; every
one had already left. I was alone. It was too late to return home.
Around me,--a desert made of glass and bathed with yellow sunshine.
I saw, as if in water, the reflection of the walls in the glass
smoothness of the street, sparkling walls, hanging upside down.
Myself also upside down, hanging absurdly in the glass.
"I must go at once, this very second, to the Medical Bureau or else
... or perhaps _this_ would be best: to remain here, to wait quietly
until they see me and come and take me into the Operation Department
and put an end to everything at once, redeem everything...." A
slight rustle! and the double-curved S- was before me. Without
looking I felt his two gray steel-drill eyes bore quickly into me. I
plucked up all my strength to show a smile and to say (I had to say
something), "I, I must go to the Medical Bureau."
"Who is detaining you? What are you standing here for?"
I was silent, absurdly hanging upside down.
"Follow me," said S- austerely.
I followed obediently, waving my unnecessary, foreign arms. I could
not raise my eyes. I walked through a strange world turned upside
down, where people had their feet pasted to the ceilings, and where
engines stood with their bases upward, and where, still lower, the
sky merged in the heavy glass of the pavement. I remember what
pained me most was the fact that looking at the world for the last
time in my life, I should see it upside down rather than in its
natural state; but I could not raise my eyes.
We stopped. Steps. One step ... and I should see the figures of the
doctors in their white aprons and the enormous dumb Bell.
With force, with some sort of an inner screw, at length I succeeded
in tearing my eyes away from the glass beneath my feet, and I
noticed the golden letters, "Medical Bureau." Why did he bring me
here rather than to the Operation Department? Why did he spare
me?--about this I did not even think at that moment. I made one
jump over all the steps, firmly closed the door behind me and took
a very deep breath, as if I had not breathed since morning and as
if my heart had not beaten for the same length of time, as if only
now I started to breathe and only now there opened a sluice in my
chest....
Inside there were two of them, one a short specimen with heavy legs,
his eyes like the horns of a bull tossing the patients up, the other
extremely thin with lips like sparkling scissors, a nose like a
blade--it was the same man who ... I ran to him as to a dear friend,
straight over close to the blade, and muttered something about
insomnia, dreams, shadows, yellow sand. The scissors-lips sparkled
and smiled.
"Yes, it _is_ too bad. Apparently a soul has formed in you."
A soul?--that strange ancient word that was forgotten long ago....
"Is it ... v-very dangerous?" I stuttered.
"Incurable," was the cut of the scissors.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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