“‘We were in the habit of coming here to sit, she little dreaming how
near we were to the spot of earth where she would ere long be lying. I
have told you that I asked her to be my wife, but I have not told you
how much I loved her, for I did—oh, so much, so much! And she was worthy
of my love. Whatever happened afterward she was worthy then. You have
seen her picture. It hardly does her justice, for no artist can ever
give a correct idea of what that face was when lighted up with life, and
health, and love. I have never seen a face one half as beautiful as
Anna’s. She knew that she was beautiful, but it did not make her vain,
for she knew that God had given her the dangerous gift of beauty, and
she tried to keep His gift unsullied, just as she tried to keep her
heart pure in His sight. I cannot think of a single fault she had unless
it were that she sometimes lacked decision, and was too easily swayed by
those in whom she had confidence. But in all essential points she was
right, serving God with her whole soul, and dedicating herself early to
His service.’
“‘Then why,’ I exclaimed, ‘when Robin asked if she was in heaven sure,
why did you hesitate to tell him yes?’
“A look of pain contracted his features as he replied:
“‘I am speaking of Anna as she was when I asked her to be my wife. We
read of angels falling,—then why not a mortal man? though Heaven knows
that I cannot fully believe that Anna fell. I could not live if I
believed it. Mother’s religious creed and mine differ in one point,
although we profess the same holy faith. To me a child of God is a child
forever, just as no act of mine can make me cease to be my mother’s son.
But to go on. I loved her with my whole soul, and I told her so, while
for a moment she made no reply, except to lay her head upon my arm and
weep. Then lifting up her eyes she said she was too young to know her
own mind yet; that she loved me, and always had,—like a brother at
first, but latterly in a different way, and if I would not require her
to be my wife at once, and would promise to release her should she ever
come to think that she could not be mine, she would answer yes. And so
we were engaged.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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