What Will He Do with It? — CompleteLytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
General
What Will He Do with It? — Complete
Lytton, Edward Bulwer Lytton, Baron
English fiction -- 19th century
VANCE.--“Did he take all his goods with him?”
COBBLER.--“Barrin’ an old box,--nothing in it, I expect, but theatre
rubbish,--play-books, paints, an old wig, and sick like. He has good
clothes,--always had; and so has she, but they don’t make more than a
bundle.”
VANCE. “But surely you must know what the old fellow’s project is. He
has got from me a great sum: what will he do with it?”
COBBLER.--“Just what has been a-bothering me. What will he do with it?
I cast a figure to know; could not make it out. Strange signs in Twelfth
House. Enemies and Big Animals. Well, well, he’s a marbellous man, and
if he warn’t a misbeliever in the crystal, I should say he was under
Herschel; for you see, sir” (laying hold of Vance’s button, as he saw
that gentleman turning to escape),--“you see Herschel, though he be a
sinister chap eno’, specially in affairs connected with t’ other sex,
disposes the native to dive into the mysteries of natur’. I’m a Herschel
man, out and outer; born in March, and--”
“As mad as its hares,” muttered Vance, wrenching his button from the
Cobbler’s grasp, and impatiently striding off. But he did not effect his
escape so easily, for, close at hand, just at the corner of the lane,
a female group, headed by Merle’s gaunt housekeeper, had been silently
collecting from the moment the two friends had paused at the Cobbler’s
door. And this petticoated divan suddenly closing round the painter,
one pulled him by the sleeve, another by the jacket, and a third, with
a nose upon which somebody had sat in early infancy, whispered, “Please,
sir, take my picter fust.”
Vance stared aghast,--“Your picture, you drab!” Here another model of
rustic charms, who might have furnished an ideal for the fat scullion in
“Tristram Shandy,” bobbing a courtesy put in her rival claim.
“Sir, if you don’t objex to coming into the kitching after the family
has gone to bed, I don’t care if I lets you make a minnytur of me for
two pounds.”
“Miniature of you, porpoise!”
“Polly, sir, not Porpus,--ax pardon. I shall clean myself, and I have a
butyful new cap,--Honeytun, and--”
“Let the gentleman go, will you?” said a third; “I am surprised at ye,
Polly. The kitching, unbeknown! Sir, I’m in the nussery; yes, sir; and
Alissus says you may take me any time, purvided you’ll take the
babby, in the back parlour; yes, sir, No. 5 in the High Street. Mrs.
Spratt,--yes, sir. Babby has had the small-pox; in case you’re a married
gentleman with a family; quite safe there; yes, sir.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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