The kiss was a week old now--ought to have lost its power long ago;
for there is power in a kiss from a pretty woman, even though a man
does not love her. But this kiss had an extraordinary, an unprecedented
quality. Other kisses--in days gone by--had given their little
sensation and had straightway drifted into the crowd of impressions
about the woman or about the general joyousness of life when the senses
are normal and responsive. But this kiss--it had individuality, a body
and soul of its own, a Jack’s bean-stalk kind of vitality. It was
more vigorous day by day. He could feel it much more potently to-day
than on the day it was given. Really, it did not make a very powerful
impression then. He had experienced much better kisses. He had felt
awkward--a little ridiculous--rather uneasy and anxious to escape.
Now----
“Not a minute too soon--not a minute! As it is, I’m going to have the
devil’s own time forgetting her.”
What had become of all his projects for a career, for rapid striding
into fame? Gone--quite gone. He simply wanted to stay at the studio
and work on and on and yet on at the one picture--at the one figure in
that picture. He had vaguely decided on a scheme for another picture
when this should be done. What was it? Why, a picture of a woman
sitting under a tree, her hands listless, her whole body relaxed and
inert--except her eyes. Her eyes were to be winging into the depths
of the infinite. He had planned out the contrast between the eyes, so
intensely, so swiftly alive, and the passive rest of her. And who was
this woman? Rix! He had still more vaguely planned a third picture. Of
what? Rix again.
“Not a minute too soon? By Heaven, a minute too late!”
“Well, what of it?” demanded he gloomily of his gloomy self. Why, pay
the bill. Pay like a man. “I couldn’t marry her if I would. I wouldn’t
marry her if I could. But I can pay the bill for making a fool of
myself.” He glowered savagely around. “The next time a good-looking
woman comes here,” he muttered, “I’ll take to my heels and hide in the
woods till she’s gone. I see I’m no longer to be trusted in female
society. At my age--with my plans--after all I’ve been through--to
make such an easy ass of myself!” He sat down despondently on the
bench--sprang up--for was it not there--lying there--just where he
had seated himself--that he had first seen her? He glanced round the
studio. He groaned. Everything in it reminded him of her; and there, in
the center, in the most favorable light, on the easel--was she herself!
He rushed outdoors. Sunshine shimmering and sparkling on the
foliage--he could see her, the yellow hair aflame with sunbeams,
flitting gracefully through the aisles of the forest! A heavy bill
it was to be! But he set his teeth. “She is not for me, nor I for
her. If she were here now I’d talk to her just as I did. But, thank
God, I didn’t realize until I had done the only thing that’s sane and
honorable. I wonder how long it will be before I can begin to forget?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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